A pensive gentleman, a guy in a chicken suit, and a Harlem Globetrotter all walk into a mansion...
The two-hour premiere of the 14th season of The Bachelorette was definitely one to remember. And there were some studs and ton of duds for Becca. But our leading lady was given a warm welcome from some of Bachelor Nation's favorite former Bachelorette's Kaitlyn Bristowe, Jojo Fletcher, and Rachel Lindsay who trashed Arie and saged the mansion together - truly the ultimate girl squad honestly.
The drama started early and could not have been more ridiculous. It began when Chris, the Eddie look-alike from Friends that was Chandler's temporary crazy roommate, started to stir up the whole not-here-for-the-right-reasons cliche right away with Chase about an ex-girlfriend that apparently was only with him for a month. The past fling texted Chris that Chase was not there for Becca which caused some confrontation and an unofficial two-on-one with the Bachelorette. Seemed really unnecessary for Chris to bring it up in my opinion because honestly if we all found out an ex of ours was going to be on tv, of course, we're going to run our mouths about them a little bit. But in the end, Becca kept the snitch and sent Chase home.
Becca did not come to mess around and she's taking this seriously. She sent home Jake, who was from her hometown because she felt he wasn't there for her and more so the fame of the show. And she was probably right after he threw a bit of a hissy fit when she sent him home prior to the first rose ceremony. He also claimed he hardly remembers meeting her even after she said they hung out together multiple times with the same circle of friends. He had plenty of opportunities to make a move on her and if nothing had happened by now it wasn't ever going to happen so bye-bye Jake!
Some of the men that the casting crew picked for Becca made me want to slam my head against the wall with all the arrogance swarming around the mansion last night. I know I know that they pick 5 guys that are actually compatible with the lead and the rest is for good television but OH MY GOD these men!
Let's start with Jordan, the male model. The one who wouldn't let us forget he's a male model. Have I mentioned he's a male model? This dude was actually getting mad at the other men for not wearing socks and not having pocket squares. He also claimed his brand to be "pensive gentlemen". Another thing that he said that irritated me was when he literally said before the rose ceremony, "it wouldn't be fair to Becca if I went home". Like?? She would be blessed if you went home. But in true Bachelorette fashion, Jordan made it to the second week.
Another man that really made me want to go through the screen and punch him was social media participant, Kamil. In his entrance to Becca, he said that in a relationship he likes to be 50/50 so he made Becca meet him in the middle. Which is fair, I respect that. But then he said how about 60/40 and wanted her to be the 60. He doomed himself with that introduction because Becca sent his sorry butt home at the end of the night.
I'm also getting bad vibes from Connor. He seems like every bad date I've ever had. Not to mention he just seems super fake and arrogant to me. But who knows, maybe he'll redeem himself. After all, it was only the first episode.
Now don't get me wrong, while there were a lot of guys that were awful there were a handful of good eggs in the basket. Here are some of my favorites so far.
My Personal Top 3: Colton, Joe, and Blake
My Top 3 for Becca: Colton, Garrett, and Blake
Favorite Entrances: Blake and Garrett
Least Favorite Entrances: Kamil, Nick, and David
Who I Would Have Given The First Impression Rose: Colton
Clearly, Colton has won my heart already and the rest of America's because he is honestly just a genuinely nice guy and you can tell that right away. He's a former football player, but since he was forced to retire due to an injury he began work helping children that are battling cystic fibrosis. You can look into his charity here that was inspired by his little cousin, Harper, who is currently living with cystic fibrosis. He's cute and has a big heart, what's not to love?!
Joe, much to my dismay, was sent home at the end of the night. He reminded me of Wells Adams and if he's not in Paradise this summer it's truly the biggest mistake the casting crew will make. He was the cute grocer from Chicago. Becca had a missed opportunity for a lifetime filled with endless food.
Some other notable stats to know from the first episode:
First Entrance: Colton
First Impression Rose/Kiss: Garrett
The One that Got Away: Joe
You can expect weekly recaps on Tuesday's at 8 am and I'm really excited to be writing these and for Becca to finally find the man she deserves. And that sneak peek for the rest of the season?! Oof this might actually be the most dramatic season ever.
I also live tweet the show every Monday so definitely follow me here on Twitter because sometimes I'm funny (or at least I think I am). Also, Bobby Bones and Wells Adams give hilarious commentary of the show on Instagram stories that you really shouldn't be missing.
Who are your favorites already? And who has already left a bad taste in your mouth?