A new month always feels like a blank slate to me, especially with Fall right around the corner. There’s something about the crisp air and the leaves changing colors that feel symbolic. It’s a new chance to start over, turn bad habits into beneficial ones, and to let go of things you can’t change no matter how badly you want to.
Unfortunately, about a week ago I received a few messages with nothing but absolute anger, negativity, and just being downright mean from someone I shouldn’t be hearing these things from. However, I have been fortunate enough for that to be the only thing said to me that has been negative about starting a blog. I have had the kindest words said to me filled with love and support and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
I typically try not to let these things bother me because that’s giving the other person what they want – a reaction out of me. But as a human, mean words can hurt and there’s nothing you can do about how you feel. On the other hand, you can handle how you respond to the situation. What you do about the negativity thrown at you says a lot about who you are as a person. You must rise above the negativity.
It’s literally impossible to be positive all the time, but it’s even more detrimental to your mental health if you’re negative all the time. The best approach that I have been taking to my life lately is getting rid of anything and everyone that no longer serves a positive purpose in my life regardless of who they are. You can only give someone/something so many chances before it’s time to let it be and carry on without them. If it no longer serves a positive purpose, there is no point in keeping it around.
Being positive can feel impossible sometimes, but if you work on it little by little each day it will become a habit. You can retrain your brain to think more positive than negative. If you catch yourself thinking something negative instantly counteract it with a positive one.
I created this blog because I love to write, I love makeup and clothes. I don’t think I’m a professional at it, because I know I’m not even close. I do it because I think it’s fun and it makes me happy. You shouldn’t be put down for things you love to do and that brings you happiness. I never want someone to leave an interaction with me feeling awful about themselves. If anything, I can only hope that when people talk to me they leave feeling just a little happier than before. And I’ll admit that I know that doesn’t happen all the time, everyone makes mistakes. We sometimes say hurtful things when we can’t truly communicate how we’re feeling. But if we just remove ourselves from that situation, even for a moment, to gain a realistic perspective and ask yourself if what you’re about to say will help or harm a situation. And if it harms it, don’t say it.
Every mother’s favorite phrase to say when their children are growing up is, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”. Cliché as it is, it’s true. You get back what you what you put out into the world.
So, give them something to talk about. I am living my life to make myself happy. Not them. The ones talking negatively are the ones who are insecure or feel stuck in their lives. They’re looking for anything and everything to project their negativity onto. It’s important that we don’t fall into their cycle and continue the chain reaction of negativity, and instead override it with love and positivity.
I’ll end this post with one of my favorite quotes from a show called The Fosters, “DNA doesn’t make a family, love does” And I have a big, supportive, amazing family that surrounds me that I am incredibly blessed and lucky to have.