The Bachelorette Week 5 Recap
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Will You Accept This Recap? | The Bachelorette Week 5

The Bachelorette Week 5 Recap

The Bachelorette Week 5
ABC/Craig Sjodin

The Bachelorette week 5 was still a bumpy ride for me. And yes, this is almost a week late again but it does be like that sometimes (but I know some of you can’t get enough of me😉). Yes, this episode was relatively normal again but something just isn’t doing it for me. For me, I think it’s because I can’t stand that they brought in Tayshia to men who were ready to date Clare. It’s essentially like Tayshia is the second choice and that’s disgusting. I think they should have scraped most of Clare’s men and gave Tayshia a whole new selection. But hey, that’s just me. I just think Tayshia is the ultimate package and Disney princess that she deserves the world and I just don’t know if these men can do that for her (except maybe Dr. Joe). But I digress, let’s get into it.

The Men Meet Tayshia

ABC/Craig Sjodin

I don’t know about y’all but the underwhelming reaction the men had when she walked into the room sucked. It very well could have been that they were just so in shock by her energy and beauty that they were left speechless, but I was expecting more from then. But of course, that wasn’t my only issue with them. Their excitement about Tayshia felt…weird. It almost felt like they felt they were entitled to Tayshia because of “what Clare did to them”. Tayshia is a human and no one owns her nor does she owe any of them anything. It’s just a show. During a pandemic nonetheless, so it’s not like they gave up their whole lives anyway. This crop of men is a whole other level of dramatic and it’s kind of irritating to watch.

What I love about Tayshia is how excited and undivided her attention is when she is speaking to someone. And how genuinely interested in what everyone has to say in conversation. She seems like the type to catch your eye in a group when you’re speaking and no one else is listening and she gives you an encouraging nod to keep speaking because she’s listening. Not to mention her quick banter showing off her intelligence, too. An angel.

The Bachelorette Week 5

Ivan is the first to steal and sit down with Tayshia, and he tells her that, “Having you here, you are definitely more my speed… I’m going to give this 100 percent.” Next came Riley who asked Tayshia what her career is and Tayshia gave the funniest answer to avoid saying “influencer” and said that she is in the “beauty and lifestyle space”. While I thought it was funny, for the most part, if you do it right and ethically, who wouldn’t want the career of an “influencer” or creator. I’m not saying it’s an easy job but personally, I think it beats a 9-5.

Next Jordan came in and said she has a nice smile and “big ass eyes”. I’m sure that was meant to be endearing on some level, but still yikes. Then along came Blake and I retract everything I said about him the first two weeks. Dudes annoying and one big red flag. He came to Tayshia and made everything about how hard it’s been for him (give me a break, dude) saying, “I feel like I went through the wringer,” and “it’s going to take a little bit, so be patient with me.” Like bro, go home. You had the option to leave, don’t waste Tayshia’s time.

More sad boy hour with Jason who really should have just left to begin with, honestly. She talks with Brendan before Chris Harrison comes to steal Tayshia away for a minute.

Meet Tayshia’s Four New Men (who were part of the OG Clare cast pre-COVID)

A new round of men pulls up at the resort. Now don’t quote me on it, but I think these men were in the original cast for Clare before COVID shut filming down. At least Noah was because he reminds me of a young Richard from Friends so that stuck in my brain. 

The way that Clare’s men reacted to just four new guys coming in is where I see even more that they think they’re entitled to Clare. They’re annoyed because they feel they’re going to be slated again but I mean if Clare and Tayshia aren’t into you…don’t be mad at them. Maybe just realize they aren’t the one for you and keep on moving. 

Tayshia is smitten with Spencer. But I feel nothing but bad vibes from him.

Once the new men enter the house with Clare’s leftovers, it’s pretty hostile and petty. They feel like it’s rude that Spencer “cut in line” to talk to Tayshia even though he’s new and the rest of them have been here longer. That means nothing, pal, get over it. Nothing else really notable happens, but she does play bags with Chasen. So that’s fun.

There is no rose ceremony because that would be dumb to get rid of people this fast for her. Then cut to the next scene being a trailer for the rest of the season.

First Impression Rose: Spencer

First Kiss (of Tayshia’s season): Spencer

The Interview that Could Have Been an Email (w Clare and Dale)

ABC/Craig Sjodin

Chris Harrison is irritating for many reasons but him introing Clare and Dale AGAIN and saying this interview is why we can’t see Tayshia get on with the show is aggravating. Basically, Clare reiterates that she and Dale did not talk before the show. She even swears on her deceased father’s grave. And then she puts the fear in Dale’s eyes when Chris asks them what the next step is and she says, “BABIES” with a bounce.

The end. That was literally it. I still wish them nothing but happiness and all the hate on them is getting very irritating. Like move on, y’all, it’s not your life and she’s off the screen. Breathe. It’s not that deep.

First Group Date of the Night: Get in the Water, Boys

ABC/Craig Sjodin

The men included on this date were: Riley, Zac, Jordan, Noah, Peter, Kenny, Jay, Eazy, and Spencer. This week’s embarrassing game is called “splash ball” and the men’s “uniforms” consist of unflattering speedos. Like is this a real game or is it made up? Either way, the winning team gets more time with Tayshia and the losing team does not.

Cue the drama between Spencer and Riley where they take the game a little too seriously. Riley ends up elbowing Spencer in the face and his mouth starts bleeding. Tayshia tells him he has to be more careful. Ultimately, the blue team of Spencer, Eazy, Zac, Jay, and Noah win the game and are awarded more time with Tayshia with a BBQ and the other team comes back for the cocktail party later.

The Bachelorette Week 5

Eazy comes in hot saying, “I feel like you walked into the room, and you had me completely…I see it. Like, I feel like, I just met my wife”. That’s a lot, sir but go off. Then in comes Zac and she seems quite smitten by how much of a “man” he is and they smooch. Meanwhile, drama with Spencer and Riley continue to brew. Spencer starts stirring the pot by saying first they won the game earlier and him getting the group date rose would be “the ultimate W”. Gross. Riley then says, “I think I owe you for my cracked ribs.” To which Spencer replies, “I think we’re even, dude. If you need any more, let me know”. So dramatic.

In comes, Kenny to make it worse by calling Spencer “a dick” but “not to take it the wrong way”. Like what is the right way to take being called a dick? Kenny sucks so I didn’t expect him to help in the slightest. Riley then calls Spencer, “fried-baloney-and-mayonnaise sandwich”. So, that’s fun. Of course, once Spencer is in the privacy of an ITM, he talks all cocky by saying, “I can totally tell there’s a little bit of jealousy because I’m doing well with Tayshia…I just have to keep it moving — all gas, no breaks — and get that group date rose”.

Womp, womp for Spencer because he doesn’t get the rose.

Group Date Rose: Eazy

Exit Stage Left, Jason

So, sad boy hours come to an end for Jason. He tells the guys that he fell in love with Clare and can’t get over it. And here’s, again, where I have a problem. How can they rag on Dale and Clare for falling in love and dipping out to not waste anyone’s time anymore to being supportive of Jason? Nah, couldn’t be me. How is one acceptable and the other is not? Jason doesn’t need Clare or a girlfriend – he just needs a therapist.

Jason makes his way to Tayshia’s room to let her know he’s leaving. Tayshia obviously respects but leaves her starting to feel like she’s a second choice. Which she should NEVER feel like that. No one should. Again, which is why we should recast for Tayshia. But whatever. Bye, Jason.

Who Left: Jason

First One-On-One of the Night: Brendan

A romantic horseback ride around the La Quinta with Chris Harrison running around serving them margaritas, ice cream, etc. Tayshia was serving looks on this date (I mean she always does but she looked extra good here). Then the smooch in the pool. I’m sure if the other guys heard Tayshia say, “I’m ready to go home right now with this man…I’m telling you right now, Brendan is everything!” in her ITM, they would have been a little on edge.

During the evening, Brendan starts off with some self-deprecating humor by saying, “There’s certainly, like, better-looking guys, smarter guys in the house — and I know being well-rounded isn’t necessarily sexy, but I think I really am, like, really, true husband material”. Then they talk about how they’ve both been divorced and there’s nothing quite like trauma bonding, kids.

They smooch under some fireworks. In her ITM she says, “I feel really connected to him,” Tayshia says. “I don’t know, I feel like I could marry him”.


The Bachelorette Week 5 Conclusion

And that’s that, friends. I will fight whoever makes Tayshia cry on sight. See you next week (or in a few days, we’ll see). Here’s a preview of the upcoming weeks and next week.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter because I live-tweet the show every Tuesday and I think I’m hilarious.

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