Bachelor in Paradise Week 5, Pt. 1
There is so much to be said about both of the episodes this week. Your Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 recap has far too much girl hate and not enough romance. Personally, I think that we have been scammed this season. Yes, it’s reality TV and it’s going to have drama. We love the drama, it’s part of why we watch this dumpster fire. However, there is no romance this season. Once two people become a couple they disappear from our TV screen. Remember when we couldn’t stop seeing Hannah and Dylan in the beginning because of the drama? And once she chose him we hardly even know they’re there anymore. But I’ll spare you my rants in the introduction. Let’s get into the Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 recap, shall we?
Nicole vs Angela…in her mind
I don’t like how Nicole is acting. She said that Angela is her biggest fear personified and if you have that big of a fear that your man’s ex is going to take him back that’s a different issue. Take it up with your man if you feel threatened by someone who is proving that she isn’t a threat. But that’s just me. All Nicole does this whole episode is body shame and tear Angela down for literally no reason. Nicole keeps saying that she’s confident but her actions and words aren’t matching that confidence. Insecurity and jealousy ain’t cute on anyone.
So, what does Nicole do? Pulls Angela to talk. For no reason. I hope y’all can sense my frustration at Nicole. Nicole just has this plan built up in her mind that Angela is out to get her when Angela has shown no interest in Clay…at all here. She’s living her best life talking to everyone else and being beautiful.
Angela and Mike’s Date
One of the most beautiful people in Bachelor Nation finally took Big Mike out on a date. Finally! So their date consists of dinner and conversation. He asks Angela if she’s ready to date again. She says that it was her biggest heartbreak because they had their whole future planned out and I felt that. Mike’s out here telling Angela that Clay told him he never loved Angela. Big yikes and not something you should probably say on a date.
But then they get on a boat and kiss and that was about it for their date. It starts to rain and Angela is living out her best The Notebook fantasy.
Thoughts about the episode that don’t fit into a category
- Where can I get hair like Angela’s? Because it’s incredible.
- Clay is getting on my nerves saying that it’s so hard to see Angela dating his friends. And that he came here to find love. Well, so did she. She is just as entitled to being here as he is. It’s okay for him to date but I guess no her. We love men.
- I need more people coming to Angela’s defense because this is so ridiculous.
- Clay literally can’t stop talking about his ex for always saying he’s over his ex…
- Why and how is Blake even still here?
- JPJ and Haley are perfect for each other and he’s leading her on.
- JPJ is something else but I can’t stand Derek so I’m here for this mess.
- Derek telling Haley about JPJ being into Tayshia…seemed snakey dressed up in innocence. Which is exactly the way to describe Derek.
- I like Caelynn and Connor together. Also, can we talk about how beautiful and glowing Caelynn looks in her ITM? Amazing.
- Why do the guys keep wearing gym shoes on the beach!?
- Tayshia wanted to go on the date with Matt but that didn’t work out for her.
- Demi and Kristian make me so happy.
- The montage of happy couples and then Blake just sitting there alone is hilarious.
- Tayshia goes to talk to JPJ and he has a breakdown that you can watch here.
- I guess the shocking exit was Derek leaving after Tayshia told him bye. I wasn’t shocked and didn’t care but I am glad he left. You can watch it here.
Haley is a MOOD – watch it here
Haley is out here getting played and she wants answers. She says, “I’m not plan B, bitch” and that’s what we love to hear. Haley sits JPJ down to talk. He apologizes and says that he did have fun with her but he is so set on Tayshia. JPJ tells her she’s amazing and hopes she finds what she’s looking for. She was on point with her lines tonight with, “I don’t like dating, it sucks and I don’t want to do it anymore and I rather go home”. We all felt that.
She continues calling him out throughout the night. JPJ said she’s a big girl and not to put this all on him. Then Haley goes to vent to Blake about why men think they can play women and treat them like this for fun. That’s ironic in itself because, well, it’s Blake. Instead, Caelynn comes to comfort her.
Derek vs JPJ…again
Derek goes up to JPJ to ask to talk. JPJ refuses for a bit and then finally agrees. But also Derek calling JPJ, John, is wild. JPJ tells Derek that he’s not the guy for Tayshia. Derek tells him he can’t make that decision. The arguing escalates with more nonsense. Derek drags Blake into this for no reason. This whole fight is nonsense. JPJ does this weird cackle. I’m only team JPJ because I don’t like Derek. So can y’all stop with “Derek for The Bachelor” because are you new here? Do you not remember him from past seasons especially with Taylor Nolan.
Tayshia seems to be over it all and says she might be ready to move on because of their nonsense fight. The next day, she tells Sydney that if someone new would ask her on a date that she would go.
New Arrivals – Double Trouble: Luke Stone and Matt Donald
Matt Donald comes down the stairs first with half a date card followed by Luke Stone with the other half of the date card. They are both from Hannah Brown’s season of the Bachelorette. Matt was sent home on the first night. Luke sent himself home after the drama with Luke P. So, this means this is going to be a double date.
Kirstina is mostly interested in Luke mostly because he looks like Nick Viall. But they both talk to quite a few girls before deciding. Matt asks Sydney. Luke asks Kristina. I love them both and I think they are both attractive and fun.
Luke & Kirstina and Matt & Sydney’s Date
They try on some hats and drink spicy margaritas. Then they break off to talk. Luke and Kirstina talk about her season of the Bachelor and he asks if it freaks her out that he looks like Nick Viall. It goes back and forth between Blake talking to Demi about Kirstina and Kristina talking about Blake to Luke.
Then we hop on over to Sydney and Matt. Matt is too pure for this environment. He seems super shy and cute and he just seems so wholesome. She wants him to kiss her. And she is dropping not-so-subtle hints for him to kiss him. He doesn’t kiss her. It’s cute but also very awkward to watch.
Bachelor in Paradise Week 5: To Be Continued…
Once again, tomorrow night Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 will continue but all you have to do is scroll down. Will Matt Donald kiss Sydney? Will Tayshia end up with JPJ? And will mustache-less Dean coming back win over Caelynn and make her leave Connor? Who knows!
Bachelor in Paradise Week 5, Pt. 2
We’re continuing on this Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 recap with everyone slowly becoming my least favorite. Angela is one of the only people that hasn’t bothered me in any sense. Alright, so let’s continue on this hot mess express with a mustache-less Dean.
Clay needs to either get a grip or leave
Clay keeps saying that he broke up with Angela months ago and that they broke up for a reason. And yet, she’s all he can talk about. Ever. He keeps going on and on that, he is being subjected to watching Angela date other guys…as if she wasn’t going to too. Even if she didn’t come to Paradise, Clay dating is all over the Internet so she would have been subjected to watching Clay date, too. You don’t see or hear Angela making this a big deal. I’m starting to really not like Clay because he is making his double standard very clear and quite frankly, he’s being annoying. There are clearly unresolved feelings on his end and that’s just his own fault. So, I do not feel bad for him whatsoever.
New Arrival: Chase McNary
As if Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 couldn’t get any worse, they send in Chase McNary from season 12 of The Bachelorette from Jojo Fletcher’s season. We hate him for a multitude of reasons. But I guess I’m just happy Robby didn’t walk down the stairs. He comes down the stairs with a date card and pulls Angela to talk. Chase talks to no one else and asks her on the date right away since they talked at Krystal and Chris’s wedding.
Chase and Angela’s Date
They have dinner and Chase asks her what it’s like being on the beach with her ex. That’s it. That was the whole date. They showed nothing else. Incredible.
They show all the couple montages again and show Blake alone. He’s wallowing in his self-pity wondering where his person is. And then he figures it out. It’s Kristina. This sudden realization with the music and everything is laughable. He comes to ask Kirstina to talk and she says no but finally she goes to talk. Blake tells her that they keep gravitating toward each other and there is something there between them. She keeps saying it’s weird and is reasonably skeptical about this whole thing.
Kirstina tells him to talk to her tomorrow if he’s serious and she needs time to process what he’s telling her. He looks upset but he really shouldn’t be considering his actions in the past. She has a reason to be skeptical about him saying he has feelings for her all of the sudden when literally no one wants him anymore after everything.
Matt Donald gives the toast of the night and his voice keeps cracking – very endearing. Sydney literally just met Matt yesterday and she said they’re moving at a glacial pace. More importantly, how is she still here though? She keeps freaking out that he isn’t kissing her and that it’s slow. Has she thought that maybe, he’s just not that into her and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings? Matt gets cute advice from Hannah and Dylan. Personally, by his body language, I don’t think he’s as into her as everyone hopes he is. He even gets some fatherly advice from Chris Harrison. And, finally, it happens and you need to watch it. Whoever edited this scene needs to win an award. It was nothing like I have ever seen on this show. Cinematic masterpiece. The whole beach literally cheers.
Chris asks Katie to be his girlfriend and it is the most endearing thing to watch. They look so cute together and the way they look at each other is so sweet and full of love.
Then Clay pulls Angela to talk and she literally says, “if we must” and that’s hilarious. Everyone thinks Angela has a plan. But personally, I think Clay has more of the issue here. He basically said she has no ambition which is horrible. Clay wanted Angela to come to the gym and she tells him that he goes for four hours. Big yikes. He basically told her wanting to be a mother and a wife is not ambitious enough which boiled my blood. Because going to the gym for four hours a day is so ambitious.
Angela rightfully calls him out by saying he broke up with her out of the blue and two days before he did it he asked her what she thinks their babies would look like. Basically, we are still team Angela, and men are confusing. She was mature but took no BS. Whatever Clay wanted out of that conversation, I hope he got because I didn’t see the point there.
Blake tells Kirstina that he is all in on her and to mark his words. Then he quoted When Harry Met Sally like it was his own words. Blake ain’t slick. What is he going to do now, swing dance with her? She is still concerned. But it seems like they are going to give it a try.
Who Gave Roses: Nicole & Clay | Angela & Chase | Kristin & Demi | Hannah & Dylan | Katie & Chris | Haley & Luke | Caelynn & Connor | Sydney & Matt | Tayshia & JPJ | Kristina & Blake
Who Left: Derek (on his own terms on Monday’s episode) and Mike
Now the men have the power again. Nicole’s speech to Clay when giving him the rose made me roll my eyes so hard. Yet Kristin’s speech to Demi made me happy. Anyways, Mike for The Bachelor.
Thoughts about the episode that don’t fit into a category
- Everyone is acting like Derek died or something…either way we need to stop talking about him.
- Once again, more Wells, please.
- JPJ and Tayshia are just staring out into the horizon, contemplating their lives.
- Tayshia and Mike are the couple that got away. They would have been everything.
- Katie and Chris spend the night together. My girl said she doesn’t need someone but she wants someone and we love that.
- Demi and Kristin have their romantic moment and it made me emotional.
- Tayshia is out here glowing in every sense of the word.
- Tayshia said that she doesn’t know if she can get there with JPJ. So, they talk. I’m confused because I thought she was going to break it off but by the end of the conversation she looks smitten and they seem fine.
- And then JPJ catches a fish in the ocean with his bare hands…
- Blake’s mouth says he wants Kirstina but his eyes say he is dead inside.
- I’m obsessed with Hannah and Blake and Chris and Katie.
New Arrival: Bri Barnes
Our fake Aussie queen comes down the stairs. Bri is from season 23 of The Bachelor with Colton Underwood. She is the one with the fake Australian accent from night one that was never explained. The temptation for Blake is unreal. Bri walks down with a date card and she grabs Blake to talk first. And it really looks like he is going to go on the date and naturally, Kirstina starts to lose it a bit. I don’t blame Kirstina, honestly. Blake pulls Kirstina to talk and he says he is NOT going on the date. It was actually a shock. So, Bri ends up taking Matt on the date.
Bri and Matt’s Date
On their date, they surf, sit and talk on the beach together, and they kiss. That’s it. That was all we were shown.
The Return of Dean…without his mustache – watch it here
Caelynn and Connor say they are feeling good about each other and think they can see each other leaving together. And then, Dean makes his way down the stairs of Paradise again. For those of you who were and are still upset about Kristin and Demi, well I’m sure coming back after you take yourself out of the show is against the rules but here we are and I don’t see anyone complaining about that being against the rules.
Dean comes down and makes his way to Caelynn and asks her to talk. But does anyone see his tan line from the mustache? Connor does not look happy and says in his ITM for Dean to go back to his van. Everyone is in disbelief and hoping that she is careful. Caelynn asks what he is doing here. He says that he showed her the worst parts of her and she still stayed. Then he goes on to say that she was the best date he ever had and when he left he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He drove to the Grand Canyon and was wishing Caelynn was there with him and so he came back. She said that Connor is easy and he said who wants easy.
Back at the peanut gallery, Connor is worried. While Connor is sitting right there the rest of the group is saying how great she and Dean were together and that they think she will pick Dean. As Connor is sitting RIGHT THERE. Poor dude. I loved Dean and Caelynn together but he broke her heart and you don’t go back to what hurt you.
Dean wants to try and be in a relationship with her. He said he needs to stop running away from the good things in his life and wants to figure it out with her. Dean asks Caelynn to leave Paradise with her, today. In her ITM, she said that she is confused and they had something great and she doesn’t know what to do.
To Be Continued…
We are left with not knowing if Caelynn will leave with Dean or stay with Connor. So, that’s it for Bachelor in Paradise Week 5.
Peep Kirstina telling Blake that he runs with things get hard in the previews. There is still a lot of tears, happiness, and drama to come. I don’t like saying bad things about other people’s relationships, but I hope Nicole and Clay don’t end up together for a multitude of reasons. And that’s all I have to say for now on that.
Also congratulations to Kevin and Astrid who left as a couple from last year’s BIP who are now engaged!