Bachelor in Paradise Week 4, Pt. 1
Bachelor in Paradise? More like John Paul Jones in Paradise, am I right? I’m about to deliver you your weekly Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 recap, but I’m not sure how great it’s going to be. Does anyone even really know what happened on Monday night’s episode? It was a hot mess and a full of breakdowns…which is actually…relatable? There have been several missed connections and friendships that would have made for a trainwreck. Like Annalise and Cam, Tahzjuan and Cam, and Annalise and Tahzjuan. Truly some opportunities missed. So, let’s just dive into Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 recap…
New Arrival: Tahzjuan Hawkins
Right after Tayshia tells JPJ that he should go on other dates, Tahzjuan comes down the stairs. She is from season 23 of The Bachelor with Colton Underwood but she left night one so no one remembers her. Blake hasn’t even met her, yet! But they will now.
Tahzjuan came in hot down the stairs. Literally and figuratively. She was complaining that she was so hot in this weather (honestly, me if I was on this show) and that she wasn’t going to care if she was stepping on people’s toes, wasn’t going to care about anyone but herself, and wouldn’t care if someone had a girlfriend. So, this was going to go super smooth, right?
She pulls JPJ first to talk and they seemed to have vibed together. But also where does this woman live that it took her four plane rides to get to Mexico? Either way, she takes JPJ on the date.
Tahzjuan and JPJ’s Date – you can watch here
This is by far the weirdest date that has ever happened on this show. Like ever. Tahzjuan is something else but she also just seems like a Bachelor superfan and the woman is toasty as heck in this weather. I can relate because when I get too toasty I freak out, too, so there’s that.
JPJ’s laugh is contagious and sounds like Elmo. Then they talk about the etymology of Tahzjuan’s name. JPJ eats the date food while Tahzjuan tells him that he’s not supposed to eat the date food. JPJ throws up the date food and reveals he has a sensitive stomach. Yet this man eats everything. She does look at him lovingly as he hacks on this food so take that for what you will.
Then they dance and I didn’t know I needed JPJ dancing in my life until this moment. When they finish dancing they go get in some water and smooch. In her ITM, she said the thought of getting engaged at the end of this is exciting.
Thoughts about the episode that don’t fit into a category
- Clay and Nicole burying Derek in the sand so he’s just a head sipping on something is a whole mood.
- Tayshia telling JPJ broke his heart and mine. Why pick Derek when you could have JPJ though?
- JPJ struggling hard in his ITM getting dressed and not really wanting to go on this date because he just wants to be with Tayshia is also a whole mood.
- Colton’s girls reveal that he was the worst kiss they ever had and I –
- Caelynn looks so happy with Dean and I’m so nervous for her. She’s saying no one has ever made her feel more herself or comfortable than Dean and he just doesn’t look as all in as her. Demi does warn Caelynn to be careful and to have a conversation with him because he does have a way of making a woman feel special.
- Nicole and Clay seem to be the first couple to stay overnight in the boom-boom room.
- Caelynn talks to Dean and basically tells her this is over when Paradise is over. He literally tells her he sucks at dating, doesn’t want to go out to dinner, doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, can’t see himself settling down, and that she would be miserable as his girlfriend. And why did Dean come back to Paradise…?
- Blake tries to comfort Caelynn and it was weird.
- Sydney and Mike are never shown but when they are they’re break dancing.
- Tahzjuan freaks out with all the couples being cute and say that it’s too hot to touch and her legs are on fire so she eats pasta in the pool. Plus no one is really reaching out to be her friend either so I do feel bad for her. I feel conflicted about her. I do love that Jen did try to talk to her when no one else would. Then she screams out at the ocean…like cmon that is iconic.
- Caitlin was out here last week preaching you should support women yet she always has a snarky comment to make about someone. We aren’t here for that.
- Tayshia continues pursuing Derek and I think Tayshia deserves better.
- Kristian gets jealous over Demi talking to JPJ. Which I get but also I don’t get. She’s saying all this as JPJ does cartwheels all over the beach.
- JPJ says that Haley has the intelligence of a doctor and I –
- I don’t know who Chris is giving his rose to but I’m stressed because I love Katie and Jen.
- PLEASE more Wells commentary PLEASE I grow feeble
New Arrival: Haley Ferguson
And right when Tahzjuan says in her ITM that she thinks Paradise will be smooth sailing now, a new woman makes her way down the stairs. Haley Ferguson from season 20 of The Bachelor with Ben Higgins and BIP three and four comes down to the beach but without her sister, Emily, this time. I want to like her. I really do, but I still can’t forget when she and Emily came down the last time in BIP and basically self-imploded that night and it wasn’t a good look for them. But we’ll see how it goes this time around.
She comes down with her eyes set on JPJ so she pulls him first to talk. And thus begins Tahzjuan’s spiral of nonsense. Haley asks him who the couples are and he cannot come up with a single name while b-roll of all the couples play over his “uhs” and “ums”. JPJ is trying to nap and Haley comes and asks him on the date. He accepts. Tahzjuan talks about ketchup and how she and JPJ are seagulls.
Haley & JPJ’s Date
Before they show the date they show Tahzjuan have a breakdown where a “doctor” comes by and she asks for guacamole. Like she’s weird
but honestly is that not relatable? Now back to Haley and JPJ’s date.
They start their date by riding horses to a beach, pop some champagne that comes out of JPJ’s nose, and he puts sunscreen on her butt and they smooch. Honestly, they are made for each other and I’m living for this.
When they come back from their date, they sit at the bar with Tahzjuan and Wells. And uncomfortable is an understatement. JPJ said he had a great day with Tahzjuan. JPJ said he had a great day with Haley. Then Tahzjuan told Haley she wanted to spit in her wine and that Haley’s a pigeon while her and JPJ are seagulls.
Caitlin makes Blake their own little Stagecoach and he wows her with his very-original-never-done-this-with-anyone-else-before dancing. He tells her that she’s getting his rose tonight and he doesn’t see that changing. He tells her all these great things with a voice that’s ten octaves higher than normal. Kirstina comes to talk to Blake to get a friendship rose. Caitlin who wants to support women, calls Kirstina a bitch. But Kirstina does manipulate Blake to maybe get a friendship rose from Blake.
I’m wondering if Kirstina knows something about Caitlin that she’s not saying. However, Blake has his own brain and he is able to make his own decisions and no one can make him choose anyone. Blake goes back to Caitlin and talks to her about his conversation with Kirstina. After saying he was giving her his rose, now he tells her he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. A typical man.
JPJ is really struggling with Tahzjuan and Haley. But he says that he still has strong feelings for Tayshia and it doesn’t seem like he doesn’t want to give that up. However, Tayshia just doesn’t seem to have any interest in JPJ anymore and she’s all in on Derek now. She talks to him and they smooch. Tayshia also says that he’s a better kisser than Colton.
With all the was said and done with Dean earlier in the episode, she’s still pursing him. It’s Caelynn’s birthday and he brings her a cake with everyone singing to her. She said it made her feel special and she’s falling for him. But #TBT when he gave DLo half a cake for her half-birthday on BIP 4. So, basically, listen to Demi. We all need a Demi in our lives.
Who Gave Roses: Demi & Kristian | Dylan & Hannah | Clay & Nicole | Mike & Sydney | Dean & Caelynn | Blake & Kristina | Derek & Tayshia | JPJ & Haley | Chris & Katie
Who Left: Tahzjuan, Caitlin, and Jen
Now the women have the power this week, again. I’m happy Chris picked Katie but at the same time, I’m really sad to see Jen go.
Bachelor in Paradise Week 4: To Be Continued…
Just when you think Dean is a changed man for how committed he seemed to Caelynn, he (probably) lets Bachelor Nation down again. Disappointed but not surprised. Also, I felt Caelynn’s anxiety as Dean led her away from everyone being all aloof.
Once again, tomorrow night Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 will continue but all you have to do is scroll down. It looks like we’re going to have to suffer through watching Krystal and Chris’ wedding and I’m not here for it. I love watching Bachelor weddings but this one is the one I care about least. It also seems like there will be a lot of drama at their wedding and that just sucks for them and I do honestly feel bad about that. However, I would have much rather have seen Rachel and Bryan’s wedding.
Bachelor in Paradise Week 4, Pt. 2
Again, what was with Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 episodes? This was all a trainwreck full of drama, confusion, and tears. I feel like this season has had the most drama but the least amount of love. And that makes me sad. I want another Jade and Tanner and Carly and Evan love story, gosh dang it! Well, anyways, we learned Derek has a podcast this week and that JPJ and Connor S. literally have the same voice and if you aren’t looking at the screen you won’t know who is talking! So, let’s get into it.
Dean pulling a Dean
Last night, we left off at the rose ceremony that has completed, it’s still Caelynn’s birthday, she got Dean’s rose, but now he’s pulling her aside. Her anxiety is evident and who can blame her. Yes, he did tell her he couldn’t see himself settling down however he did continue to lead her on after that conversation. I mean he made a big commotion about her birthday and being all cute with her and then a few hours later he bounces? Nah, we aren’t here for that emotional immaturity. He tells her he doesn’t want to do this…and yet he is. He also tells her she deserves better and men need to stop telling women what the deserve. She tells him she was waiting for it to end but was hoping he would be better and she’s aggravated. And he really does all of this on her birthday.
I’m mad he even came back to the beach now. Yes, they all come on the show for their own agenda: to get fame and money. However, I still think it’s annoying if that’s all you go on the show for but then start being in a relationship where the other person is clearly falling hard and then pull the rug out from under them and run. So, I don’t blame Caelynn for being upset and feeling blindsided. Because I get it. In conclusion, Dean sucks and he can go back to living in a van away from all women that he leads on and then bounces.
So, Dean sent himself home.
Thoughts about the episode that don’t fit into a category
- JPJ crying is a mood. Blake trying to awkwardly comfort him is a mood. Caelynn is a mood. Basically, everyone was a mood tonight.
- It broke my heart seeing JPJ heartbroken.
- So are we just not going to talk about how Tayshia and Kirstina wore off-white/white to a wedding?
- JPJ walked in with Kirstina on his arm? Where is Haley at though?
- Connor Saeli walking in like a dream was everything and Mike hugging him is also everything.
- JPJ trying to talk to Tayshia right before Krystal walking down the aisle was not the move but I love him exposing Derek.
- Is this wedding only for Bachelor Nation people? Where are the families? Where are their friends?
- The whole cast went to the wedding. Chris Harrison officiated the wedding. But Wells wasn’t invited? Justice for Wells.
- Who let Annalise back on my screen? No, who let her into a wedding?
- JPJ introducing himself as John Jones…sorry, I don’t know her. I only know John Paul Jones.
- Nicole needs to calm the heck down. She’s out here saying she hates Angela and she never met her. If you can’t accept your partner has ex’s, maybe you shouldn’t be dating. I don’t know, Nicole has just rubbed me the wrong way during this episode and made me so mad.
- Dare I say I’m Team JPJ and Team Angela?
- The Sad Blake montage though.
- I’m really going to need all of these women to stop calling each other bitchs all the time. We aren’t here for that kind of content.
- What’s with everyone referring to JPJ as John. That’s not his name!
- ALSO, Derek telling Wells that JPJ gave his rose to Haley before he gave his rose to Tayshia is a…lie? Derek gave his rose out before JPJ did…
- Demi isn’t leaving Paradise because she is our comedic relief. I mean did you see her roasting Connor, Caelynn, and Kirstina? Iconic.
The Krystal Goose Wedding – watch it here
I still cannot stand Chris and I’m very angry we have to watch this wedding. However, once they started playing Prayed For You by Matt Stell and they recited their vows, I lost it and was sobbing. I love weddings and love – even if it does have Chris involved. But as soon as it was over, I was bad to hating everything that is Chris. I felt revived seeing Grocery Store Joe and all of my other favorites back on the screen even if it was only for 0.2 seconds.
Chris and Krystal gather up the cast and tell them some can stay and some have to leave. I know this was probably the producers but it still seems really rude to say it to their faces. Plus, I would be mad if I was them because they have a bunch of people they probably don’t care about at their wedding. Some are causing drama because it is a TV show and there are a whole camera crew and producers hanging around. I don’t know it just seemed like it wouldn’t be your ideal wedding. So, I guess I don’t blame Ashely and Jared and Rachel and Bryan for not having a TV wedding.
JPJ vs Derek – watch it here
Was this the best place for JPJ to call out Derek? Absolutely not. He could have waited to talk to him when they got back to the beach. However, I don’t like Derek or Chris so go off JPJ. And thus begins JPJ’s spiral. The way JPJ ends every sentence by saying Derek’s name and just the way he says it is hilarious. Derek didn’t answer much. But JPJ wouldn’t really let him. I don’t know, it was all very messy but I was lowkey living for it.
Don’t forget that Derek called his ex-fiance, Taylor, a pig on Instagram that has since been deleted. Derek isn’t your squeaky-clean perfect man as y’all think and that’s the tea. They hash it out more on the beach later in front of Wells. And we got no commentary from him which is really an opportunity missed. But it wasn’t anything new and it seemed to be the same argument all over again.
And then there were three: Angela, Clay, and Nicole
I like Angela more than Nicole. There, I said it. Angela had the perfect situation set up for her to see her ex: perfect hair, makeup, and outfit. She looked incredible. And Nicole making fun of her to everyone back at the beach was not a good look for her and made me more annoyed with Nicole. Personally, it feels like Nicole is being a little insecure but masking it with overconfidence.
Nicole could likely be a rebound. It’s really annoying to see Nicole be mad at Angela and not Clay that much. Angela isn’t responsible for Clay’s actions or emotions. Clay is a grown man who is in control of those things. But if they sway more toward Angela than Nicole at the end of this, it might not be a good look for Nicole or Clay. But honestly, I’m rooting for him and Angela. We love a rekindled romance with the one that got away. But that’s just me. I’m not saying Nicole can’t be mad, because she has every right but not at the expense of trash-talking Angela all night long.
When Angela and Clay sat down and talked – I felt that conversation. Hard. I don’t blame Angela for being mad. The woman wants answers and he’s not really giving her any and that sucks. It sucks because it leads to confusion, frustration, and can make it hard to move past that relationship when it was so deep and she thought it was forever moving forward before he blindsided her. Clay tells her that he still cares a lot about her. But what does that mean exactly? And I’m sure that’s not easy for Angela to hear and leads to more frustration about the way things ended.
New Arrival: Connor Saeli
My boy, our sticky note legend, Connor S. walks down the stairs from season 15 of The Bachelorette with Hannah Brown. He walks down to the beach with a date card in his hand. Connor grabs Caelynn to talk first since the made out literally the night before. Then he talks to Kirstina and I guess they met at the wedding but only chatted. Caelynn got dramatic about it with him just talking to Kirstina.
Ultimately, Connor asked Caelynn on the date. She accepted. Kirstina got mad and said that Caelynn always takes her leftovers. And I don’t understand because Connor and Kirstina just talked at the wedding while he and Caelynn made out. So, I don’t really know what’s up with Kirstina this season and it’s bothering me because I love her.
Connor and Caelynn’s Date
Connor and Caelynn’s date was steamy. They painted each other, rolled around on some paper, and made out. They talked and they seem about excited to see where their relationship goes together. In her ITM, she said it could have never worked with Dean after Paradise, Connor has it together and doesn’t live in a van. Connor asks Caelynn to just be open and honest with him and to not lead each other on. And that’s about it.
New Arrival: Angela Amezcua
Y’all, the devil works hard but the Bachelor producers work harder. Angela Amezcua from season 21 of The Bachelor with Nick Viall and BIP 5 comes down the stairs. This is so all over the place because men are the ones who are supposed to be coming down the stairs this week and down comes Angela. But, who cares! I love her and I’m ready for her to get her man back.
Oh, it’s messy. Next week looks absolutely exhausting. Dean comes back? For Caelynn – without the mustache!? It’s all too much and it’s about to explode next week.
And I see the rumors have been spread that Peter might be the next Bachelor. It could be worse, however, we should still rally for Mike. We’ve seen Peter. Peter is every Bachelor that we have ever had. The Bachelor needs to expand in diversity. We had Rachel Lindsay. We have the first same-sex couple on Bachelor in Paradise. It’s long overdue that we have our first Black Bachelor. And Mike is the man for that role. So, #MikeForBachelor and #BachelorSoWhite…thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
To end on something lighter, did y’all see Jordan Rogers re-proposed to Jojo Fletcher? It was too sweet and yes, I did cry over it.