It’s the Bachelorette week 3 recap and it’s never been messier so quickly. We have men self-imploding, telling incoherent stories for roses, and a Bachelorette who ends up in the hospital. I’m not sure who thought Luke P. and Cam would be a good idea because they’re so terrible they don’t even make good TV. For one, Luke P. embodies everything that is toxic masculinity, gross, and manipulative. For two, Cam is also manipulative and creepy. Hannah shouldn’t have had to deal with them at all.
No Womb for Wimps Here
The first group date of the night included Jonathan, Matteo, John Paul Jones, Kevin, Jed, Tyler C., Mike, Cam, Hannah, and a delivery room. Hannah says she wants to have children one day so what better way to prepare the men for that than with a labor simulation.
Before the simulation began, the men were put to the test on their knowledge of the female reproductive system. And it was so bad proving even further how poor America’s health education is. Two men thought when women are pregnant the organ they grow is either the uterus or ovaries…the correct answer is the placenta. Even more embarrassing is when Cam thought that pregnancy only lasts two weeks.
Once that embarrassing test was over, it was time for the men to feel what labor is like. And it was priceless. Tyler C. attempted to make himself look sexy by flexing and what not but that was shortly ruined when the simulation began. John Paul Jones was freaking out before the machine was even turned on and then it was even funnier when it was turned on. It was really sweet when it was Jed’s turn and Hannah said in her ITM that she felt a connection with her. She said when she looked into his eyes, she knew that they were in this together. That’s the sweetest especially because you know she was thinking about the future when the roles would be reversed. It was too adorable.
ABC: always be cautious
When the night sky came it brought hurricane Cam with it. Before the storm, however, Jed is the first to steal Hannah. He takes her out to the rooftop where they kiss and they make a wish by throwing a chicken nugget over the edge of the building. It seems like chicken nuggets are really taking a beating this season.
Then it was time for Mike to have a conversation with her. Mike shared an emotional story with Hannah that the date triggered in him. He told her about the time where his girlfriend was pregnant and the engagement was planned out, but they lost the child in the second trimester. Obviously, it was very vulnerable of Mike to share that part of him with her and it was emotional to watch.
But it wasn’t respected by everyone. While he was telling her the story as she comforted him, Cam kept coming in not once, not twice, but three times to steal Hannah. He kept saying what he had to tell Hannah was important. As if what Mike was telling her wasn’t important. And right before Cam started all this nonsense, he was telling the other men he didn’t want to be interrupted during his time because he’s had the least amount of time with her. There are a few things wrong there, first off, it’s The Bachelorette that’s kind of the premise of the show. Second off. if he wanted the other men to respect him and not interrupt his time, he should have done the same. Third of all, he’s interfered in a group date he wasn’t on and barges in on everyone else’s time so there’s that.
What goes around comes around…
Cam was incredibly rude to Mike, but he was also disrespectful to Hannah. She kept telling him to give them a minute and he kept coming back every 0.4 seconds. Eventually, Cam had his time with Hannah which began with her apologizing to him when it should have been the other way around. But when Mike went back to the other guys and told them what Cam was doing, Jonathan wasn’t having it. What do you do when you’re not having it? Go do the exact same thing as they did. And that’s just what Jonathan did. He went and interrupted Cam’s time by not letting Cam have “just one more minute”. Jonathan is truly the hero we deserve.
Apparently, the super important thing that Cam just had to tell Hannah at that moment is that his “bold move” is that he resigned from his job to be on the show. That’s not bold. If anything, it feels manipulative begins it’s like, “pick me! I gave up my job to be here with you! How can you not like me when I quit my job for you!”. Yeah, no thank you.
Group Date Rose: Mike
Alabama Hannah Down
Connor S. is the only one-on-one of the night and they were supposed to go sailing (I think?). But Hannah ended up in the hospital to be pumped with fluids because when she woke up she passed out. So, their first one-on-one took a different route than anticipated. Instead, she invited Connor S. to her hotel room to hang out. He brought her flowers, soup, and a card. When he got there they made-out, snuggled, and chatted before he left so she could get some rest. But before he completely left he wrote out and placed a bunch of sweet notes all over her room to wake up to. It was really thoughtful and sweet.
Back at the mansion…
When Connor S. went back to the mansion he was talking to the guys and it was rather uneventful. Except for a certain someone. Can you guess? Did you guess Luke P(uke)? He was saying that he felt like it was his duty to go take care of Hannah and that even if she asked him to leave he wouldn’t. Actually, to be exact he said, “If she told me to leave, I’d say nah it’s alright. I’ll just cuddle in bed with you. We don’t even have to talk.” So many gross, red flags. Luke P. physically makes angry. Then a few minutes later, he was asking Connor S. what she was wearing. Which is not appropriate in the slightest. Like oh yeah, she passed out and was rushed to the hospital but what was she wearing?? Nope. No thank you.
Eventually, the limo driver came in to collect Connor S. because the date was not over apparently. He went out to meet Hannah where she gave him a rose and they sweetly danced to their own private Lukas Graham concert.
Rose Accepted: Yes
Oh, and apparently Tyler G. left. It was mentioned once without saying why or when, but allegedly this is why he left the show –
The second and final group date of the night included a photo shoot, animals, and Demi Burnett from Colton’s season. During this date, the
men were going to pose with Hannah and the animals. However, while the men were getting ready for the photos, Demi and Hannah were in another room spying on them. Demi hired two actors, but the main one was the makeup artist. She wanted to see if there were any disingenuous men there. And there are. But for the sake of the show, there was no way the producers were going to let Demi point them all out to Hannah. So, Demi said they were all good and the date continued.
Hannah was out there killing it in the cutest sparkly, pink dress. She was taking pictures with each of the men, but Luke Puke started getting jealous. Her chemistry with pilot Peter is magical and I’m here for it. But someone wasn’t. Eventually, Luke P. came back onto the photoshoot set after his turn was over because he wanted more pictures. He told Hannah, “I’m going to do push-ups and you’re going to smile on my back … just do you”. I mean, it’s not doing her when you’re telling her exactly what to do, but whatever.
After that insecure nonsense, Hannah said she was going to go change and she started to walk off. But she’s not going anywhere without Luke Puke if he can help it. He says he’ll walk her to her dressing room and that he wants to talk. Hannah wasn’t having any of his nonsense that would take away time from the date and said they can talk later that night.
Luke Puke Self-Implosion Begins
The evening portion of the night begins and this season will never know peace anymore until Luke P. leaves. Hannah has a talk with him after saying in her ITM that some red flags are being raised with him. Basically, she said that she doesn’t like how he’s acting all cocky and arrogant. She’s being nice to him and saying that she likes him so he needs to fix this. That’s awfully nice considering he deserved to be kicked out night one for his behavior and comments, but he still didn’t like it.
When she was telling him how she feels, he asks to interrupt her. Come on, man, she’s trying to help you but you’re only thinking of yourself. In his ITM after that conversation, he says, “I don’t see her seeing me that way. It’s doesn’t make sense to me. I’m going to act like the conversation never happened.” That’s not okay on so many levels.
So, he starts pacing and trying to interrupt other men’s conversations but she won’t let him. Then he has a run-in with Peter, and Luke Puke tells him that he can’t talk to Hannah first because he needs to and blah blah blah. When Hannah comes out, Luke P. tries but she said he’ll get his time but she doesn’t want to deal with that right now. And sweet Pilot Peter gets his time over Luke P.
In Peter’s conversation, he tells Hannah about how his parents met. They met when his dad was a pilot and his mom was a flight attendant and when his mom saw his dad’s butt once she told her friend that that’s the man she was going to marry. It’s kind of weird, but kind of cute.
Group Date Rose: Peter
Not Your Mama’s Tailgate
The cocktail party is replaced with a tailgate which is a first on the show, I’m pretty sure. Cam tells the guys that he would appreciate it if he could steal Hannah first because he has a sad story to tell her; a story that has affected his relationships in the past. The men weren’t having it but were honestly like whatever at this point.
Once the tailgate begins, Cam steals Hannah. He starts telling her about an amputation he had (or didn’t have, I’m still confused), a sick grandmother, and giving away a dog. Are you confused? Yeah, me too. I still don’t know what that story was about, but I didn’t feel sad at all. Just really confused. Also, how would any of that end two relationships? I wasn’t buying it.
Mike uses his time – wisely or unwisely, that’s for you to decide – to talk about Cam. Personally, I don’t typically like when contestants use their time to talk about the other contestants, but I felt this was justified. Mike told Hannah that Cam was telling her a sob story for the pity rose. Hannah gets upset and leaves Mike to go talk to Cam. She said that the timing of his story felt manipulative and she doesn’t give out pity roses. He didn’t really defend himself too well and it was just a, “no, I didn’t say that. My story is real” but it wasn’t believable to me.
Hannah ends the tailgate with some sass by saying, “if you get a rose, it’s not a pity rose” and with that, she left.
Who Left: Jonathan, Cam, and Joey
Yes, I’m grateful that Cam is gone because he was irritating, but Luke P. is a much more dangerous man to have around. Every week, until he’s gone, is going to be me saying how much my body physically cannot stand the man. I’m also upset that Jonathan left, but I’m sure we’ll see him in paradise in a couple of months!
Before you go, just one more thing – Mike for The Bachelor.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you buy Cam’s story? Do you wish that Luke Puke went home before he did?