Week 3 of The Bachelor was nothing short of dramatic and it was the first episode of the season that I genuinely enjoyed. There was pageant drama, genuine conversations and connections, and some cute kiddos. Oh, and Terry Crews shows up which just makes the episode that much better.
Yo Ho Ho an (Imaginary) Pirate’s Life is Not for Aggressive Women
The first group date of the night was pirate themed where the women wack each other with a thing that looks like a giant cotton swab. And you know the women that have problems with each other were on this date. Hannah B. made the silly mistake of saying that she hopes Caelynn is not on the date because then the producers made sure to put Caelynn on the group date. Much to Hannah B.’s dismay, Caelynn thrived on the date.
There was less focus on Demi’s antics this week, but it wouldn’t be an episode without at least a little bit of it. After the pirate portion of the date, Demi proceeded to use her one-on-one time with Colton to blindfold him, bend him over, and spank him with a wooden paddle. It was just as uncomfortable to write that sentence as it was to watch it happen on my tv screen. Demi claims that she “challenges” him the most because of the “older” women (aka anyone over 26 years old) not being able to compete with the “younger” ones. But that doesn’t challenge the poor guy, just makes him uncomfortable and probably sweaty.
Bachelor Pro Tip: don’t use your one-on-one time to throw another contestant under the bus. It won’t end well for you…
But let’s also take a second to recognize what Demi did to Colton can be filed under sexual assault. If a male would’ve done what Demi did to a female contestant, everyone would be screaming about it. It was more than a cringy moment on tv, it wasn’t appropriate under any circumstance.
Hannah B. continues to freak out about Caelynn. Caelynn hardly talks about Hannah B. and their relationship at all, but Hannah B. uses her time with Colton to talk about Caelynn. Which you should never do, but they never learn, and we get good tv by default. I honestly think Hannah B. would be fun to get to know if she wasn’t so fixated on Caelynn.
Genuine Connections Make the World (Merry-Go-Round)
Elyse was the lucky woman of the night to get the one-on-one! Colton picks her up at the mansion and whisks her off to San Diego in a helicopter in true Bachelor style. They spend the day at Belmont Park with the entire place to themselves. But the date turns into a group date. Yep. You read that right. But instead of the other women joining them, the date encompasses several children.
It was the sweetest date of the season so far. It was the sweetest because the date focused on their connection with each other and the kids. There wasn’t any mind paid to drama, and it was refreshing. I wanted to cry the entire date because it was that genuine and nice and I couldn’t stop smiling. They have the most natural chemistry so far, like when he gave her a kiss among the kids it was like they had been dating forever.
You don’t have to go home, but the kiddos can’t stay here…
After the day portion of the date was over, they were able to have even more meaningful time together. Elyse opens up about how she had a sister with a tumor while she was pregnant with her second child so there wasn’t much they could treat her with for the sake of the child. They wanted to get the child as close to term as they could. The baby was born, but the sister, unfortunately, passed away. As a result, Elyse and her family have a charity in their honor called Sarah’s Closet. I am trying to find the link to the charity, but I can’t seem to find it. So, if you can find it please let me know so I can link it!
Colton mentions that she has natural mother instincts and that she’s real. Which is always a great thing to hear.
Rose Accepted: Yes
Let’s Get Physical
That’s right for the second group date of the night, it was all about fitness. A fitness date sounds like a nightmare to me, but Terry and Rebecca Crews show up which makes everything better. I mean, who doesn’t love Terry Crews?
Then the low-key date turned into “Bachelor’s Strongest Women” competition that entailed tire flipping and pulling an actual limo with their body. My back was hurting just watching these women attempt these challenges. The 3 finalists of the competition were Sydney, Catherine, and Onekya. The Bachelor’s Strongest Woman was awarded to Onekya. She’s personally not my cup of tea after last week’s incident with the air horn, she’s too immature for me.
During the night portion of the date is when I realized that Colton is starting to grow on me and I’m not sure when this started to happen, and I don’t want to talk about it. Taysha was all about supporting women when she talked to Colton and was a breath of fresh air. I swooned way too hard when Cassie was finally on my screen. He said that she gave him butterflies, they have a natural chemistry, and that he feels he can be himself around her. I’m a big Cassie guy so I was pretty dang excited to hear this.
Sent Home: Canadian Caitlyn
Group Date Rose: Nicole (she pulled that limo, y’all!!!)
We’re Ditching the Stressful Cocktail Party for a Stressful Pool Party
Chris Harrison lets the ladies know that there is no cocktail party this week, but a pool party instead. I was sad that Hannah G. (aka Barbie’s little sister, Skipper) wasn’t on a date this week. But girl took charge and snatched him up first. He reassured her and said he is confident in what they had and not to worry. Is this an indication that she’s one of the finalists? Maybe!
Heather and Hannah B. seem to have formed a friendship in this episode. By friendship I mean, Heather is the type of friend to encourage you to do the dumb stuff you probably shouldn’t do. Hannah B. said she’s going to let her “beautiful monster” out to defend herself and make sure Colton KNOWS the real Caelynn. Colton talks to both pageant queens and they call each other manipulative and toxic. Personally, I’m team Caelynn because something about Hannah B. rubs me the wrong way. I’m also falling in love with Caelynn just based on how articulate and kindly she speaks.
Colton ends up having his first breakdown of the season. But it’s not THE breakdown of the season where he hops a fence. Instead, he talked to producers, and Chris Harrison is woken up from a nap due to Colton’s indecisiveness. All of this seems irrelevant in hindsight because we all know the two are going to stay around for a while so they can go on a two-on-one in a desert or a forest. Colton claims he values both the women but neither of them are offering much clarity on the situation.
Who Left: Bri, Catherine, and Nina
I’m really sad that Bri left because she’s cute and fun but maybe we’ll see her in paradise. Here’s to next week and maybe getting another iconic two-on-one in a desert with a couple of beauty queens.
Are you team Hannah B. or team Caelynn?
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