I have to admit, I was not exactly prepared for my Christmas posts this year. Far from it actually. I started writing the posts the day of and not posting it until much later than I wanted. And then I started comparing my content to others and that started a spiral. That’s why for the seventh day of Christmas, I’m going to talk about getting caught up in the hustle & bustle of life – especially the holidays.
I feel like I have been the least motivated to blog lately. It’s a lot more challenging than it seems to balance going to college full-time, have a part-time job, blog, make time for yourself, spending quality time with your significant other and family than it seems. When I finished my semester last week, I felt I had to go from studying for weeks to writing content. And I did that – and it was a bad idea. I didn’t give myself any time to just breathe and relax. I had the hardest semester so far and still managed to get straight As for the first time all while still (attempting) to do the above things. It was hard – there were many meltdowns.
What was Supposed to Happen
Going straight from doing what seemed like an endless amount of work and studying to trying to come up with content for my blog and social media for the 12 Days of Christmas didn’t lead to good things. I didn’t like what I had planned out and the few things that I did like that were planned didn’t go according to plan.
For example, today’s post was originally supposed to be a recipe for a Holiday Yule log. But when Max and I made it yesterday – well let’s just say there’s now a slightly burnt-on-the-bottom yule stump in my refrigerator.
We aren’t sure what we did wrong, but once it came out of the oven looking pretty rough we just started cutting all the corners so we made it worse. But if you’re interested in the recipe to do it right you can find it here.
I was so excited for this to turn out and take the prettiest pictures of our creation…until we opened the oven to this. I was frustrated and panicking in my head about what I was supposed to write about today. Even though it didn’t come out the way I had hoped, Max said we should keep going to finish it. I, on the other hand, gave up. And you know what? It was fun. Was it what I had pictured? Nope. But I got to make Christmas memories with my person. To me, that was even better than having the perfect pictures for social media.
What I’m Trying to Get at…
I have dreams and aspirations that I want to achieve and maybe want to achieve on an unrealistic timeline but I’ve always been an overachiever. I also like to prove other people wrong when they say I can’t do something so I tend to push myself hard and be impossibly hard on myself. I’ve been very irritable and getting mad at people for no reason. And I couldn’t figure out why until I really sat with it the other day. It’s because I was so high strung with stress which made my anxiety shoot through the roof and made everything hard to handle – so I just didn’t handle it.
I want my dreams to come true so badly, and when I see other people on social media that look like what I aspire to be like then look at my content I get frustrated because mine doesn’t look anything like that. But I have to realize that it’s okay. I don’t have someone with me every day to help me take photos. I don’t have the resources right now to do some things that I want to create what’s in my head. Is it frustrating? Very. But that’s just the reality of it right now. I have to make something that I love out of what I have.
Do your thing and don’t care if they don’t like it…
One of my major flaws is that I care way too much about what other people think of me. And it really doesn’t matter in hindsight. What I need to work on is that it only matters what I, Max, and my family think. Those are the only opinions that really mean anything to me. As long as I know I have good intentions, it doesn’t matter what Susan in the library thinks.
We’ve built up a pretty looking Instagram feed so much that it’s forgotten that sometimes the “worst” pictures are the best – the ones that have the most memories. I want to create beautiful pictures and posts but what I’ve learned from the past few weeks is that I shouldn’t stress this much about it. No one’s life is what their social media looks like. It’s all a highlight reel.
So, this post might not be the one I planned on nor is it very Christmassy – but it’s real life. Is there anything you’re struggling with this holiday season? Holidays can be rough, but try not to lose sight of what really matters.
I hope you come back tomorrow for the eighth day of Christmas!