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My Self-Love Journey 365 Days Later | One Year Blogging Anniversary

Exactly one year ago, I published my first post on this blog! My first post (read it here) was about how I struggled with self-love. I had been through my first heartbreak (read that here). I felt completely lost and I didn’t know what to do with myself or what I wanted out of life. So, I created this blog out of being depressed, lost, and lonely. And because of this blog, I have found myself and now I know what I want out of my life.

That year has come and gone and a lot of things have changed. My blog is just one example. I’ve completely redone it since starting it a year ago because I felt like I outgrew it. I’ve added topics that I write about, like my Bachelor recaps, but I’ve also slowed down on other topics, like beauty and fashion.

365 days later: I love who I’m becoming and I’m learning to forgive myself for who I was.

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My self-love journey isn’t complete. I don’t think it’ll ever be finished because there is always room for improvement. But I have come a long way and it wasn’t easy. I felt like I had an epiphany a couple weeks ago because I was so concerned about making sure people like me and wondering what they thought of me. Then I really thought about why I wanted people to like me so much.

Sure, it would be nice if everyone liked me – it would make things a lot easier in life – but the truth is not everyone is going to like me. And I have to be okay with that. I like me and I think my intentions are pure and if everyone can’t see that then oh well I’m doing the best I can. There’s really nothing I can do about that so why do I need to worry myself sick wondering if people like me or why they don’t like me?

I am absolutely not saying that I feel 100% confident and happy every day of my life because that isn’t real either. I still have terrible days or weeks where I think the worst things about myself or my life. Partially due to anxiety or that I’m not taking the best care of myself that I could be or that I’m just being too hard on myself for being human.

Compared to a year ago…

I do feel more confident in who I am and I feel like I’ve made peace with myself. In high school, I was so mean to myself. I had friends that were mean to me and I thought, “oh well there has to be a reason they’re being mean to me. So it must be my fault”. Then for the next five or six years, it was a downward spiral of negative self-worth.

After I graduated, it did get a little better because I was no longer in that environment. But I still was so used to having a negative perspective about myself. I didn’t really notice this about me either because our generation is basically built on self-deprecating jokes and memes. It wasn’t until I said something mean about myself aloud to my current boyfriend and he said something like I shouldn’t say things like that about myself because they aren’t true. At the moment, I just thought oh he’s my boyfriend he has to say those nice things to me. But what he said also stayed with me and I think about it a lot and he probably doesn’t even remember saying it because it was such a small thing.

I’ve come far but I still have a way to go…

As I’m writing this, I feel emotional thinking about where I was a year ago to where I am now. It’s a lot to process. In terms of my blog, it’s nowhere even close to being on an Aspyn Ovard level, but I also recognize that it’s grown in a year which is something I should be proud of. I’ve made some of the most incredible, sweet, and supportive friends through blogging that I would never have met otherwise. I’m so thankful for them.

Blogging is easily the best decision that I have ever made in my life. It’s given me some great friends when I didn’t have any friends. This blog has given me a voice in the tiniest corner of the Internet. It’s given me the reassurance that I am not alone in my struggles with when I thought I was. Blogging can be something that stresses me out sometimes but it’s probably the best outlet for me when I do have those feelings – if that even makes sense.


Since it’s my blog’s first birthday which is super exciting to me I needed to take some time to be sappy and thank three of my favorite people that have been nothing but supportive of me with my blog:

Max

Before I met Max, I didn’t really like to talk about my blog in “real” life. Even now, if it’s not with him I don’t like talking about it to people. I feel like most people in my life didn’t really understand how much work and love I put into this. But when I met Max I felt like I could tell him about it. He never thought it was stupid and he recognized the effort that I put into this. He helps me take 90% of my pictures which I always used to feel weird asking people to help me take pictures because I didn’t want people to think that I was self-absorbed.

So, babe if you read this, thank you for being so supportive and loving and patient with me – even when I’m having a breakdown that I don’t feel like I’m good enough or look like Instagram girls you bring me back to reality and that it’s not important and that I’m beautiful, too. You’re great and I love you.

Coral

Coral was my first genuine friend that I made when I started blogging and I am SO thankful that the universe brought her into my life. She’s dealt with a lot of panic-filled texts about blogging and real-life problems that I couldn’t be more grateful for. Her blog is also goals, it’s literally so pretty and her writing is absolutely fantastic.

She was the person that I learned about what an INFJ was and was so positive about being an introvert when I had grown up thinking that it was a weakness. So, in a way she helped me learn more about myself which just learning more about those two things have been life-changing for me. She’s just the sweetest person ever. Oh, and we can talk about The Bachelor together which is the best thing ever. I love and appreciate her a lot.

Carina

Carina is my favorite person to talk about our Taylor Swift obsession. She has a fun YouTube channel and her blog is filled with beautiful posts. I wish I could write something as amazing as she does. I just can never thank her enough for being so kind and sweet to me. I’m so thankful for and love you a lot, girl!


So, thank you again…

I’m really thankful for this blog and the blogging community. The amount of positive support and messages that I have received in the past year is the nicest thing. It’s something I never expected to happen.

In my first post, I wrote a line that is still my favorite thing that I have ever written and I still stand by it, “in a relationship or not: Invest in yourself, just like you invest in someone else in a relationship.”

You are just as important to take care of as you do for your significant other. You are just as important to take care of yourself when you’re not in a relationship. Learning to love and accept yourself is really hard, but when you get to a point where you have self-love it’s the most freeing feeling ever. And it’s something you do for you. I know my family and Max has helped me through some really hard times. But at the end of the day, I am the one who made the decision to keep going when I could have not. It’s great to have outside support, but you need to help you above all else.

I’m excited that I’ve reached the milestone of a year blogging. I’m even more excited to see what will happen with my blog a year from now!

4 thoughts on “My Self-Love Journey 365 Days Later | One Year Blogging Anniversary”

  1. Oh my goodness girl this was so beautiful to read, I just felt your passion and excitement for writing and blogging. Happy Birthday to your blog, I’m so happy that you’re in a better place than you were a year ago, heartbreak literally destroys your soul, but you used it to create something so beautiful, and in the end it ended up saving your soul! Love how life works like that sometimes haha. You had so many moments in this post that we’re so spot on, like the part where you said it was YOU who got you through things, and that outside support helps but it doesn’t solve things, only we can. And I think that’s such a powerful thought. Because when you are having success moments, it is no one else’s victory but your own, because only you know where you’ve been, and how much it took you to get from there to here. And girl you are the sweetest to include me in your blog, I am seriously so honoured!! Thank you, I adore reading your blog!! Here’s to one day meeting up together over coffee and Taylor Swift chats☺️❤️

    1. Oh my goodness, thank you so so much! Heartbreak literally is a soul and mind destroyer like it’s scary and yet ended up being the best thing to happen to me which you’re right is so crazy! Of course, I had to mention you girl, you’ve helped me so much even if you know it or not haha. Yes, we are absolutely putting it out into the universe that we will meet one day! Thank you so much again, this means a lot to me – you’re the sweetest💕

  2. I’ve been meaning to comment on this but haven’t had time until now! I’m so proud of you and how well you’re doing with your blog. Your blog is honestly one of my very favorites because you write so well and are so passionate about the things you write about. And because I’m also obsessed with The Bachelorette/Bachelor and all the other things you write about haha. Thank you SO much for writing such kind words about me. They honestly mean the world to me! I got so excited when I read what you said and ran to show my husband right away haha. You’re seriously such a supportive and sweet person and I’m so glad I’m able to call you one of my best friends! We’ll have to take a blogger friend trip someday and take pictures of each other (I think I’d actually prefer you taking pics of me than my husband hahaha), stay at a hotel and chat all night, and have the best time ever! I would seriously love doing that with you! 😊💛

    1. Oh my gosh, I want to cry just reading this because I would love that SO much too! I would be so happy to take your pictures for you (I get weird about taking them too hahaha) I just want to hug you and thank you for all the sweet words that you’ve ever said because it’s everything to me. Ugh I just love you so much😭💕

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