Remember when I said I wasn’t going to recap this week? Yeah, anyways the Bachelorette week 11 recap we are bowing down to the QUEEN that is Miss. Hannah Brown. Last night was a big middle finger to Luke P. and everyone who doubted Hannah as the Bachelorette. My woman brought the girl power to the table and was no longer letting Luke get away with his disgusting, manipulative, abusive, sexist, and misogynistic ways. It was a train wreck on Luke’s behalf so let’s just jump right into it, shall we?
Wait what happened in Crete, Greece?!
Before the Men Tell All began, we were given a bit more of the cliffhanger from last week’s episode. Now, if you remember from last week, Hannah gave Luke the middle finger and sent him on his way and the rose ceremony was about to take place with just Jed, Tyler, and Peter. But Luke wasn’t done. They brought back the vlog-style video they had from Colton’s season for Luke. He was in the back of the car, in a suit, riding to the rose ceremony. Luke was saying nonsense that was just beyond belief but that was just the start.
Actual quote from Luke in the car, “Hannah thought after sending me in the van that there’s no way I’d want to be with her anymore… she’s sadly mistaken. She doesn’t realize that … I’m not through. This isn’t over for me yet,”.
“She’s never told me that she loves me, but she loves me,” He says. “She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m on my way, and I’m coming.”
He pulls up to the rose ceremony, and the other guys think it’s totally normal because, at this point, they don’t know she sent him home already. Luke literally PUTS himself back into the rose ceremony. I’m telling you; this man goes to the ceremony and stands next to the other three. Truly baffling and unheard of. Sure, there have been past contestants that come back but nothing like this has ever happened. And quite frankly, I hope it never happens again. For once, Chris Harrison was right. Last night really was the most dramatic. Oh, and did I mention Luke had a ring. He was s e r i o u s.
He did what…yeah he did that, and you need to watch it here
So, Hannah comes out, expecting to see just three men. Instead, she is greeted by an unwanted face. Luke goes up to her and she asks what he’s doing here. A question we’ve all been asking since night one. In short, he won’t leave her alone. He wants clarity and for her to give him 60 seconds to get closure. Our queen isn’t having it and keeps telling him no. Pan to the other three men who looked turned on by Hannah being a badass and standing up for herself. And honestly, same. Tyler looked like he wanted to fight Luke and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything hotter than that.
Finally, Hannah has had it and makes a power move. A move that is arguably the best thing to happen on this show. The woman picks up the pedestal with the roses on it and moves it away from Luke after he said he was going to stand there all day and she told him no. An iconic scene that will be remembered forever.
Then the men try to step in. They tell him to leave and that she told him to go. Someone puts their hand on Luke, I think it was Jed, but it could have been Tyler, and Luke tells them to take their hands off him. Tyler says, “or what” and asks him why he’s trying to tell Hannah who she is and everyone in Bachelor Nation died. Eventually Hannah, after the millionth time of saying she wants him gone, tells him that he’s not her husband and to leave. So, he leaves.
Chris pulls her aside and tells her he had a ring and that he was convinced she was his wife. All while the other guys are muttering that they hate him.
No roses were given out yet. TBD.
Men Tell All
They gave us the teaser of an almost rose ceremony but not quite all of it. Either way, we are on to the Tell All. I’ve never recapped a Men or Women Tell All because it’s usually everyone just yelling at each other. But that really wasn’t the case this time. No one really had an issue with anyone but Luke. It was refreshing. However, if you’re reading this and you support Luke in any way or think that the men were “ganging” up on him or bullying him then I’ll just leave you what I left JP Rosenbaum, winner of season seven of The Bachelorette:
But wait we aren’t done with Luke just yet, we need some more clarity
Once Chris invited Luke out to the hot seat, Luke claims that he would not have come back if he had clarity the night of their date in Greece. I don’t know, it seemed pretty dang clear to me. But then again, I would consider myself on the “normal” scale when someone tells me they don’t want to be with me, I depart.
Luke rehashes the whole sex conversation he had with Hannah. Claiming things like he was blindsided by her telling him to leave and that he would never judge and condemn her…I mean I don’t want to waste my time or yours, but we all know that isn’t true. He also says things like “straddle”, “mount”, and “swap salvia” which is creepy and weird. Does anyone else notice that those of “religion” tend to be very explicit about sex when talking about it? I’m not here to bad mouth religion or Christianity because I’ve said my peace in last week’s recap, but those people really do give religion a bad name and I feel sorry for them. Also, does Luke not know what show he signed up for??
Silence because he’s plotting his next manipulative move
This man literally snaps at Chris Harrison a few times. First of all, no one talks to Chris like that. Second of all, why does he always talk to people like they’re dumb and no one knows what he’s saying? He has to say a million times in a single conversation, “I’m trying to find a way to make this clear to you” or “I don’t want to be misunderstood”. Honey, if you don’t want to be misunderstood, shut up. Because anytime someone calls him out on his BS he back-peddles and claims no one understands him. Like why couldn’t someone just roll the footage to make him be quiet? I’ve never had so much rage and anger for a person, let alone a Bachelor contestant. And yet here we are.
And then he says this, “It wasn’t the fact that she had sex that would make me want to completely leave her…I felt like she was making a mistake.”. I don’t even have anything to say. You already know I’m angry. We get a ton of awkward silences after each question Chris asks because Luke wants to be cLeAr. But every time he does open his mouth, the audience’s reactions are everything. I wonder what it’s like to be in a room full of people that literally hate you. He’s certainly not used to this because a few episodes back he said he’s never met anyone that doesn’t like him. Well, Luke, now you have. It’s literally all of Bachelor Nation and probably America.
I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m not even a little sorry
Remember when Joey from Friends goes on a date and eats all of the woman’s dessert when she goes to the bathroom and she comes back and he says he’s not even a little sorry? Yeah, that’s Luke as he watched himself back this entire season. He also claims that he’s getting choked up. And yet there wasn’t a tear in his eye or a grovel in his voice. So, was he really? Probably not.
Finally, he says, “my feelings for Hannah haven’t changed. I still love her. I still want what’s best for her, and I boldly say that… but I know she’s not my person”.
Then Chris asks him that if he could go back would he change anything, and this man says no. He wouldn’t change a thing. I’m speechless yet not surprised.
Is he acting or is this really how he is…? I’m asking because I’m scared for future women in his life
After a commercial break, suddenly Luke says that he would change somethings but he’s grateful for what he learned. He also admits to lying to Luke S. (aka baby Nick Viall) in Rhode Island. But then Luke says that he felt like he was on a rescue mission to save Hannah from these men. Again, honey, the only men she needed rescuing from was him.
Then Devin, who was eliminated week six, came in. Devin said that he was struggling to watch him backstage and that he feels like Luke wants to control a woman. Chris sends Devin back after he says basically what I said about Hannah only needed rescuing from Luke.
And then AND THEN Chris asks Luke if he wants a woman “in a glass case” and Luke doesn’t say anything at first. And then he says, “I do want an independent woman as my wife…Although a man is supposed to lead and guide a woman in a relationship.” OKAY, BUDDY.
Bring on the men!
Mike: “We didn’t place that target on you…He went out of his lane, shall I say… you continued to do stupid crap! … I think that your future wife is going to be a prisoner of you if you don’t learn how to change.”
Connor S: “Actions speak louder than words, and we were waiting for your actions to change… I wish I had said this earlier, but f**k you, man…You honestly are a psychopath.” He did have some classy tweets before the show last night.
Garrett: “This is not about Luke P. This is about Hannah,”
Luke admits he lied and acted matured and hoped the men could support him on his journey to learning from this. No one was buying it and Mike straight up told him he doesn’t accept his apology.
Dylan: “It’s 2019, man, you can’t talk to a woman like that.”
Grant: “When she says no, she means no.”
Cam steps in with nonsense about Luke making him look like a saint. No, Cam. We still remember your creepiness and Luke doesn’t make you look like a saint. However, he does ask if Luke P. apologized to Luke S. for body-slamming him in Rhode Island. And he did.
And then some man named Matteo, who was eliminated week five, says that he thinks Luke P is being punished for his actions. Okay, settle down there week five. Good thing Hannah got rid of him early on.
But I’m a born-again virgin, Chris!
Chris asks why Luke was so hung up on Hannah having sex with other men because he wasn’t a virgin either. Luke had the nerve to say to Chris to think about what he’s asking. Then he proceeds to explain how he was a born-again virgin. I know that’s what Sean Lowe said during his season, and he did it respectfully, Luke didn’t. Personally, I think being a “born-again” is BS. If you’ve done it, you’ve done it. You can’t take it back and certainly don’t try to make others feel bad about having sex especially if you’re a “born-again”
Luke has the last words by saying he hopes they can forgive him. And then it’s over.
John Paul Jones x3
Our boy, John Paul Jones is in the house and bringing some lightheartedness to ease up what Luke did. He’s announced to go on Bachelor in Paradise, someone comes down from the audience to cut his hair like he let Hannah do, and Chris gives him chicken nuggets to which he showers the audience in. I’m so ready to see this man get his spotlight in Paradise as he deserves.
Mike for The Bachelor
Mike is up next in the hot seat. After the recap of his time on the show is over and I wipe the tears from my eyes, he says that he’s appreciative of his time on the show. He said that it sucks to hear that you deserve to be loved fiercely by someone who isn’t the one to give you that. We’ve all been there. But he did say that he took the process seriously, which was obvious from the start.
Mike wasn’t short of a gentleman even after being broken up with when he says, “I do want closure, and I want to make sure she is okay in what she’s going through, and that she knows I still think she’s fine as hell and independent.”. Aside from Luke, Jed, and Cam – Hannah has some of the sweetest and most supportive men. I mean just by all of their interactions on social media, it’s clear and endearing.
Hannah Beast is here!
She thanks the guys for being here and being a part of this journey. Hannah then has to talk about her connection with Luke. She says that “a lot of that came from being insecure about being the Bachelorette in the first place… I remember when I got the call from you, I was so excited but also I had this doubt of, ‘Oh my gosh, like, am I going to be able to be this? Are the guys going to be disappointed? I think that is like, where my holding on and making excuses, ‘Well his intentions are he’s here for me…” Luke thanks Hannah for helping him open up but Hannah couldn’t care less.
Hannah Finishes Luke
Hannah calls out Luke one last time. She tells Chris that it felt like her faith was under fire with Luke. In fact, she said, “the basis of what I believe is love and loving others and understanding… his love was contingent on if I did the things, he wanted me to do,”. If your man’s love isn’t unconditional, we don’t want it.
And then there was this interaction:
Hannah: “Luke is really obsessed with sex… honestly, did I sit around being like, ‘Huh, who am I going to have sex with in the fantasy suites?’ No, I didn’t!… It wasn’t your business to ever ask me,”
Luke: “Are you really telling me that you never said, ‘Don’t judge me about the fantasy suites, because I won’t be using that for sex?'”
Hannah: “Fantasy suites are not used for sex! I’m so over being slut-shamed!” Hannah continues. “I’m also not going to say that me having sex in a windmill was like, the scarlet letter on my chest to have… you’re not going to make me feel that way! Those fantasy suites, that’s not what they were about… it’s not just about the physical, and that’s where you’re getting it really, really wrong,”
Mike jumps in to say for him, and on all the men’s behalf, “we completely have your back in that”.
And then Luke literally just ups and leaves the show. Then there are sincere apologies from Hannah to the men and Hannah to America. Then we bloopers, a sneak peek of the finale, and a sneak peek of BIP. It’s also important to note that this will be the first time in how many seasons, that the Bachelorette doesn’t end up with the one she gave the first impression rose to. And I’m okay with that.
Okay, so here’s what the next few weeks are looking like. We have the finale next week and it’s two nights. So that’s going to be one recap that will go up Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Then the following Monday is the premiere of Bachelor in Paradise which will be Monday and Tuesday every week for, give or take, six weeks. Those recaps will also be one large one that will go up on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. AND there will be a Bachelor in Paradise fantasy league that will be up by the end of this week for you to have plenty of time to join!
I don’t know about you guys but I’m hyped. I’m hyped for Hannah’s finale because it looked crazy and I felt so sad for her when she fell down. And don’t even get me started (but please do) on that BIP trailer because it was freaking everything and it’s going to be so crazy. I won’t say much else on BIP right now but I will say Derek is trash and this is just one instance (no spoilers – it’s safe to click)
Also, what do you think of this dinner theatre, live Bachelor thing with Ben Higgins? I don’t really understand what exactly it is or if I want zero tickets or ten.