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To My Future Daughter | Celebrating IWD 2019

To My Future Daughter,

I don’t know you yet or when I’m going to get to meet you, but I know when I do it’s going to be the best day of my life. I’ve dreamed about having you pretty much my whole. So, just know that I want you SO much. I know there are women who worry about having a girl because “girls are so mean” or they could never handle raising a girl. That’s not me at all. It’s going to be so fun having a little girl that will grow up into a woman. Women have done amazing stuff and you’re going to love being part of that group.

There are a lot of things that I’m going to think is important for you like getting good grades and going after your dreams. But above all, the most important thing is that you are kind and compassionate to others. Being kind, compassionate, and vulnerable to others are not weaknesses – they are what makes you strong. But don’t let others take advantage of that. Know when to stand up for yourself and protect your heart. Know your self-worth because how you treat yourself is how you teach others to treat you. Make sure it’s high.

You’re going to go through an awkward phase. That’s just how it is. We’ve all been there, I’m still cringing at mine. I don’t want you to feel the pressure to be perfect, but I know you probably will. Just remember that even if you have the latest technology, name-brand clothes, and friends with the “popular” kids, it really doesn’t mean anything. I know it will seem like it’s everything then but don’t let it take over your life.

If you find yourself scrolling on social media and comparing yourself, please remember that it’s everyone’s highlight reel. Don’t compare your level one with someone’s level ten. I want you to have strong female role models in your life. I’ll try my best to be that for you but I’m not perfect either – you’ll know that – so be patient, please. I hope you find a strong role model in your aunts, grandmas, or whoever the latest celebrity woman is when you read this.

Soon you’ll be a teenager and I’m going to be super old and embarrassing to you. And you’re going to probably hate me for a little while, and I get that. But you’ll get over it and after that, we’re going to be best friends. But while you’re still a teenager, be careful and carefree. I want you to have so much fun with your friends and I know you’re not always going to listen to me. Trust me, I’ve been there. And that’s just when you’re going to learn so tough lessons that will stick with you.

And when you start dating, I’m going to know exactly what I put my parents through. I won’t want to let my little girl go out with some teenage boy or girl. It will break every single piece of my heart when you go through your first heartbreak. But just know you can tell me everything because I’m here to help you and guide you through this. And don’t forget that I was once a teenager, too. So, when you think I don’t get what it’s like to be bullied, left out, or hurt by your friends or you loved – I do. I get it and it’s going to hurt like hell. But that’s when you find out who you are and when you find out you’re stronger than you think. Because you are so much stronger than you think.

And speaking of dating, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t downplay who you are. Because if you have to, you don’t want those people in your life anyways. This goes for your friends, too. Who you are is already enough. Just be who you are and the people that aren’t meant for you will come into your life.

You’re probably going to come across a time when you feel like you can’t express yourself or the world feels like it’s on your shoulders. I was there and I honestly still feel that way sometimes. Like I mentioned, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about everything – sex, periods, mental health, abortion or anything else that’s on your mind. I will do my best to remember what I felt like at your age and what was going through my head then. And I will be open, too. There’s no shame in being open and vulnerable. Your father and I will want nothing more than to love and support you and see you happy. So, please don’t struggle in silence. We are here for you, no matter what.

Here are a few more things I want you to know:

  • If you see someone sitting alone at lunch at school, go sit with them or invite them to sit with you and your friends
  • You’re not crazy for feeling a lot of emotions or feeling them intensely. You are my daughter, so I expect this.
  • Sensitivity isn’t a weakness and don’t let anyone use that against you. It’s a great quality – embrace it.
  • Once again, you’re my daughter so if you’re more on the quiet and introverted side – there’s nothing wrong with that either and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a bad thing either.
  • If your friends are making fun of someone, don’t join in. It’s not cool or funny to make fun of people. Tell them that what they’re doing isn’t okay and reach out to whoever it is that they’re making fun of.
  • Grades aren’t everything but try your best.
  • Don’t give in to peer pressure, it’s not worth it.
  • If you’re wrong, apologize. It’s more important to be nice than it is to be right.
  • High school – and college – probably won’t be the best four years of your life and that’s a good thing. Why would you want to just four good years? Hang in there, the best is yet to come.
  • You don’t need makeup to be beautiful, but if you like it and it makes you feel confident – wear it.
  • You’re intelligent, beautiful, worthy, and a warrior – never forget that.

You’re incredible, baby girl, and you can do anything. You have endless potential and I can’t wait to see who you become. I’ll I really ask is that you be kind. Kindness will get you far in life. You are loved by so many and I’ve loved you for years before you are even here.

I love you always,

Mama


For this year’s IWD post I wanted to take the time to write something for my future daughter(s). I want her to know that she is just as good as any man she encounters. I want her to know her self-worth.

The future is female, and it begins with us. And it begins with her. I love being a woman and I want her to love being a woman, too. I can only hope that by the time my daughter is here that she won’t have to be afraid like me. She won’t have to be afraid of walking past a group of men or walking by herself literally anywhere. That she won’t have to be afraid a man will touch her when she doesn’t want it or that he ‘no’ is always respected. I hope she won’t be pursued by dumb boys because of her body and only that. I hope she can speak her mind without having to worry about if the choice she just made will end her life.

Here’s to every single female. We are incredible and powerful. We have way too much in common and are way too powerful to be pit against each other by society. Let’s celebrate women today, this month, and every single day.  I want a better world for her and all women.

2018’s IWD Post

9 thoughts on “To My Future Daughter | Celebrating IWD 2019”

  1. Girl I can’t tell you how much I loved this post!!! I think this is my fav thing you’ve ever written!!!! (there’s SOO FREAKIN many that come to mind, but this one is so so special!). I can’t even pinpoint how many lines I love because it’d be like that meme of a student only highlighting “the important stuff” and it’s literally the entire page lol. The not struggling in silence, the being open part and having your future daughter tell you everything, that’s literally everything I would ever want for my daughter!!! So much of my life has gone without communicating it much to my parents, and I never want my daughter to be scared to tell me things because of a mess up or mistake she’s done. I love how you included the list at the end, apologizing and being kind, feeling, being sensitive, a warrior, ugh KELLIE YOUR HEARTTT, I LOVE YOUR HEART! You are seriously going to be the most caring and understanding mom, and I literally teared up reading this post ’cause I felt that!!

    1. Oh my gosh, you just made me cry. This is the sweetest and one of the most meaningful things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me. I hold so much of my struggles inside and it wasn’t until Max that he really started to not let me do that because it’s not helpful for us or myself. It’s still a struggle because I like to keep things to myself. But like you I never really communicated my struggles to my parents. I mean I learned what a period was at school in the 5th grade. I don’t fault my parents for that because I’m sure that’s just how they were raised and that’s all they know. But I want to change that. I can’t stand the thought of my daughter – or son – feeling what I have felt growing up. It makes me sick. I think if we want to see a change in the future, we have to make that conscious decision when raising the future. It starts with us and ends with them. Ugh, I just can’t thank you enough for your sweet words. They made my entire life💕

      1. Aw you’re such a sweetheart!!! And exactly, I would never want my children to go through the same thing, I want to talk to them about everything and anything! But you’re so right, it’s how they were raised, and I know they were and are trying their best. All we can do is be better for the future! <3 And girrrrl you deserve it you're amazing!!

  2. I love this so much. It made me tear up! You’re going to be the best mom…. seriously. I can just tell you and your daughter(s) are going to be best friends because you’re sensitive to people’s feelings, supportive, understanding, and non-judgemental. Those are all the things every girl needs in a mom. Seriously, I think if every girl had a mom like you, there would be no “mean girls” in the world. I love that you’re going to teach your daughter to go out of her way to include others and to not gossip or make fun of other girls. Every time I see a mean girl, I wonder why if their mom taught them how to be a kind human being. Every mom needs to be teaching her girls how to be nice. Oh, and of course I LOVE that you included that it’s okay if she’s sensitive and introverted. The older generations don’t get that it’s okay to be that way so I’m excited for our generation to (hopefully) raise more kids who embrace all the sensitive and introverted parts of themselves. Anyways, I LOVED this so much. You’re amazing! 💛

    1. This is the sweetest thing, oh my gosh. Thank you so much, Coral, it means so much to me! Mean girls have just always been part of my life – even today – and it bothers me so much. I admit that I’ve fallen into the trap of being a mean girl a little when I was in junior high but I started to hate how I was feeling because of it and I saw the effects it had and it made me sick that I and my friends could do that to people. It was a terrible and hard lesson learned that I still think about now and I just can’t stand a mean girl and the way it affects people. That’s not who I was but I let peer pressure get the best of me and feel to it. I really do hope that kids start to embrace their sensitive and introverted side because it can be the most sparkling quality about someone and yet it got twisted somewhere down the road that it’s negative and something to be ashamed of. And I can’t stand that because I know for me – and you – it’s caused issues with people thinking we’re stuck up or whatever. It’s the worst because that’s the opposite of who we are. You’re the absolute best, thank you SO much again💕

  3. This was such a fantastic idea for IWD! Your future daughter(s) will be glad to have this, there are so many valuable points included that it will stand to her or anyone that reads it.

    I love how you said “I want her to know that she is just as good as any man she encounters. I want her to know her self-worth.” That’s what the future should be about, men and women being and seeing each other as equal and nothing less.

    1. Aw, thank you so much, Denise!! Your kind comments always make me so happy! We can only hope and try our best to obtain that ideal future 🙂 Thank you so much again, I appreciate you!🤗

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