For this year’s IWD post I wanted to take the time to write something for my future daughter(s). I want her to know that she is just as good as any man she encounters. I want her to know her self-worth.
The future is female, and it begins with us. And it begins with her. I love being a woman and I want her to love being a woman, too. I can only hope that by the time my daughter is here that she won’t have to be afraid like me. She won’t have to be afraid of walking past a group of men or walking by herself literally anywhere. That she won’t have to be afraid a man will touch her when she doesn’t want it or that he ‘no’ is always respected. I hope she won’t be pursued by dumb boys because of her body and only that. I hope she can speak her mind without having to worry about if the choice she just made will end her life.
Here’s to every single female. We are incredible and powerful. We have way too much in common and are way too powerful to be pit against each other by society. Let’s celebrate women today, this month, and every single day. I want a better world for her and all women.
To My Future Daughter,
I don’t know you yet or when I’m going to get to meet you, but I know when I do it’s going to be the best day of my life. I’ve dreamed about having you pretty much my whole. So, just know that I want you SO much. I know there are women who worry about having a girl because “girls are so mean” or they could never handle raising a girl. That’s not me at all. It’s going to be so fun having a little girl that will grow up into a woman. Women have done amazing stuff and you’re going to love being part of that group.
There are a lot of things that I’m going to think are important for you like getting good grades and going after your dreams. But above all, the most important thing is that you are kind and compassionate to others. Being kind, compassionate, and vulnerable to others are not weaknesses – they are what makes you strong. But don’t let others take advantage of that. Know when to stand up for yourself and protect your heart. Know your self-worth because how you treat yourself is how you teach others to treat you. Make sure it’s high.
You’re going to go through an awkward phase. That’s just how it is. We’ve all been there, I’m still cringing at mine. I don’t want you to feel the pressure to be perfect, but I know you probably will. Just remember that even if you have the latest technology, name-brand clothes, and friends with the “popular” kids, it really doesn’t mean anything. I know it will seem like it’s everything then but don’t let it take over your life.
If you find yourself scrolling on social media and comparing yourself, please remember that it’s everyone’s highlight reel. Don’t compare your level one with someone’s level ten. I want you to have strong female role models in your life. I’ll try my best to be that for you but I’m not perfect either – you’ll know that – so be patient, please. I hope you find a strong role model in your aunts, grandmas, or whoever the latest celebrity woman is when you read this.
Soon you’ll be a teenager and I’m going to be super old and embarrassing to you. And you’re going to probably hate me for a little while, and I get that. But you’ll get over it and after that, we’re going to be best friends. But while you’re still a teenager, be careful and carefree. I want you to have so much fun with your friends and I know you’re not always going to listen to me. Trust me, I’ve been there. And that’s just when you’re going to learn so tough lessons that will stick with you.
And when you start dating, I’m going to know exactly what I put my parents through. I won’t want to let my little girl go out with some teenage boy or girl. It will break every single piece of my heart when you go through your first heartbreak. But just know you can tell me everything because I’m here to help you and guide you through this. And don’t forget that I was once a teenager, too. So, when you think I don’t get what it’s like to be bullied, left out, or hurt by your friends or you loved – I do. I get it and it’s going to hurt like hell. But that’s when you find out who you are and when you find out you’re stronger than you think. Because you are so much stronger than you think.
And speaking of dating, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t downplay who you are. Because if you have to, you don’t want those people in your life anyway. This goes for your friends, too. Who you are is already enough. Just be who you are and the people that aren’t meant for you will come into your life.
You’re probably going to come across a time when you feel like you can’t express yourself or the world feels like it’s on your shoulders. I was there and I honestly still feel that way sometimes. Like I mentioned, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about everything – sex, periods, mental health, or anything else that’s on your mind. I will do my best to remember what I felt like at your age and what was going through my head then. And I will be open, too. There’s no shame in being open and vulnerable. Your father and I will want nothing more than to love and support you and see you happy. So, please don’t struggle in silence. We are here for you, no matter what.
Here are a few more things I want you to know:
- If you see someone sitting alone at lunch at school, go sit with them or invite them to sit with you and your friends
- You’re not crazy about feeling a lot of emotions or feeling them intensely. You are my daughter, so I expect this.
- Sensitivity isn’t a weakness and do not let anyone use that against you. It’s a great quality – embrace it.
- Once again, you’re my daughter so if you’re more on the quiet and introverted side – there’s nothing wrong with that either and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a bad thing either.
- If your friends are making fun of someone, don’t join in. It’s not cool or funny to make fun of people. Tell them that what they’re doing isn’t okay and reach out to whoever it is that they’re making fun of.
- Grades aren’t everything but try your best.
- Don’t give in to peer pressure, it’s not worth it.
- If you’re wrong, apologize. It’s more important to be nice than it is to be right.
- High school – and college – probably won’t be the best four years of your life and that’s a good thing. Why would you want to just four good years? Hang in there, the best is yet to come.
- You don’t need makeup to be beautiful, but if you like it and it makes you feel confident – wear it.
- You’re intelligent, beautiful, worthy, and a warrior – never forget that.
You’re incredible, baby girl, and you can do anything. You have endless potential and I can’t wait to see who you become. I’ll I really ask is that you be kind. Kindness will get you far in life. You are loved by so many and I’ve loved you for years before you are even here.
I love you always,