“Find yourself someone who doesn’t make you feel like loving you is a job. Someone who will assure of you the little things. Someone who doesn’t tell you that you’re overreacting. Someone that will rock you on the floor in the dead middle of an anxiety attack. Find someone that no matter how hard you push them — they do not leave,” – Callie Amelia Theodore
I’ve talked about my story about living with anxiety and a few times here and there in other posts. I’m always nervous about posting things like this but that’s usually when I know it’ll help someone else – may that be someone else living with anxiety and they can find validation in their feelings or helping those who don’t live with it understand it more because mental health/illness is complex. You can’t see it and it’s really hard to explain and those who don’t experience just don’t get it. That makes sense that those who don’t live with it don’t understand it because how could you understand something you’ve never experienced? It would be really difficult and it’s not their fault. But the more we talk about all mental health/illnesses, we can all gain some sort of perspective, empathy, and ways to help those around us that live with these things.
Anxiety isn’t an excuse, it’s an explanation.
Here are 32 things anxious people want those around them to understand – especially if those around them don’t struggle with it.
I’m trying my best to get a handle on this
If you’re in a relationship, if someone expresses their crazy and irrational thoughts about it it’s probably not even really about you. It’s their brain and it’s sometimes out of their control – I know it can be frustrating but please don’t get mad
Somedays I feel absolutely nothing. Somedays I feel everything under the sun
If I lash out at you, don’t take it personally because it’s probably not about you
I’m going to ask the same questions over and over again
I need reassurance
Please be patient with me. Sometimes we just need someone to lay with us
Sometimes I may not be able to tell you what’s wrong because I don’t even know
I don’t need you to fix me, just be there for me. Listen to me.
Social situations make me panic even if I know everyone there
If we go somewhere, do not leave me alone
When they try to express their emotions, let them talk it all the way out even if it takes a while
It may seem dumb and not a big deal to you, but it is to me even when I know it’s stupid
I could be fine one day and be completely defeated the next
You may think you’re being helpful, but you might not be
I just want to feel safe and secure
In relationships, learn each other’s love languages and be intentional about it – it’s very important
I tend to cancel social activities. I want to go, but I cannot get myself to go
Validate my feelings when my anxiety comes out of nowhere. Please don’t get irritated with me
You don’t know what to do when someone around you is having an attack? Ask. Asking questions is okay, it’s encouraged!
Sometimes I want to be alone
I feel out of place 99% of the time
Everything can feel extremely difficult – even simple tasks
Please don’t call me lazy, I want to do things but sometimes I just can’t. I’m trying
I’m not trying to be rude when I don’t talk – I either have actually nothing to say or I’m thinking everything I might say is stupid/wrong
I have to rehearse things in my head before I actually do them
If we walk in somewhere, please don’t make me go first
Anxiety isn’t just worrying about things
I can trust you 100% but my brain will still think the worst possible things
I need to know what you’re doing or I feel like you don’t care – I just need updates because I care about you and want you safe
Constantly fearing I’m being too clingy/attached but also needing to know you care/want me around
If I could get rid, I would
The list can go on and on, but I’m going to leave it here. I felt compelled to write this because I’ve mentioned that even though this has been a great year for me, it’s probably been the worst for my anxiety. It’s specifically been bad since July and (probably my anxiety speaking here haha) but I feel like people do not fully understand what anxiety is beyond worrying. I’ve heard people say, “oh we all have anxiety” or, “I’m so anxious to see what happens!” when they’re actually just excited, and that’s true we all feel the emotion of being anxious. But there’s a difference between having an anxiety disorder and feeling anxious due to a situation. An anxiety disorder is when those passing worries start to creep into every aspect of your life and prevent you from doing regular tasks/things you want to do. It’s excessive irrational fear and dread.
Be nice to others. Be patient. Learn more about the world around you – not just the things that affect you because we all need help every now and again.
O T H E R A R T I C L E S:
10 Things I Wish My Family and Friends Understood About My Anxiety and Depression | How to Love a Girl With Anxiety | Living With Someone Who Has Anxiety | TO THE SPOUSE WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ANXIETY… | When Anxiety Becomes a Disorder
If you live with an anxiety disorder, what do you wish those around you understood about it?