Something that has really piqued my interest in the last couple of months is why I am the way that I am. I know some of the aspects to that question lie in my anxiety, but there were just somethings about myself that I couldn’t explain to people or even myself.
A few months ago, I found, my now friend, Coral’s blog, The Determined Dreamer, where she was always talking about these four little letters: INFJ. I wasn’t sure what that really meant, but I related to her blog posts so much, again, it was unexplainable to myself why I felt such a connection to her when I didn’t even really know her. She would write about things that I experienced or thoughts that constantly ran through my head that I never knew how to express. That’s partly due to her incredible writing skills, but also, I realized that we were the same personality type.
I took a bunch of online personality tests a couple weekends ago, and, not to be cheesy or anything, but it was a sort of a liberating feeling because it gave me an insight to the question I kept beating myself up over; it gave me reasons to why I am the way that I am.
One of the things that really has bothered me is that I’m an incredibly sensitive person. I always thought that was bad because that meant my feelings were easily hurt or people could see me as needy or weak. But being sensitive, I’ve learned, is not a terrible thing and doesn’t make me needy or weak. I can easily empathize with nearly anyone and when I love I love incredibly deep (which also means I feel pain deeply). I now think being sensitive is the best part of who I am.
So here is what I learned so far about what being an INFJ is really all about:
So, basically, a starting point for understanding this personality type is that it’s a rare personality and the letters stand for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging. In short, they can be the ultimate walking contradiction.
- Daydreaming is a constant state.
- They love their alone time.
- Energy is so important. If someone is sad around them, they automatically sense it and can also slip into that state. And same goes for happiness energy and other types of emotional energy.
- It can take a while for them to let their walls down and be open especially with feelings.
- Very empathetic and an old soul.
- Separation anxiety is real.
- Meaningful conversation without a trace of judgment makes them happy and comfortable.
- They love to help others.
- Sometimes they disappear for a while because they’re processing what’s going on in their lives – they’re not ignoring you.
- They may not share everything with you. It’s not you, it’s them. It can take time.
- They like people that they have a deep, genuine connection with and share a lot of the same interests, goals, etc. Which is great but can cause a bit of frustration for friendships because that’s obviously a tall order to fill on both ends.
- Hanging out one-on-one is preferred because they typically aren’t the most excited to be in group settings all of the time.
The other day, I came across this article that basically was me just nodding in agreement the whole time because it was that relatable. So, some key points to note from this article are:
- INFJ’s don’t date for fun if they want a relationship with you they’re thinking long-term. Short-term just doesn’t satisfy what they’re looking for.
- They’re very intuitive when something is wrong and can tell if their person is lying.
- Making the first move isn’t really their thing, and they pay attention to the effort and the energy their person makes for them.
- Because of their higher sensitivity, they make for great listeners.
- Very stubborn especially when it comes to their values.
- They ultimately really need trust and safety.
- Creativity, creativity, creativity! Being able to have their creativity shine through is very important for them.
- They have to feel like what they’re doing has a purpose and meaning.
- Corporate structure isn’t the best thing for them.
- Mundane work will not work.
Not only can knowing your personality type help you understand yourself, but it can help others in your life know you better. This website, Introvert Dear, is also great for getting to know yourself or friend if they’re an INFJ.
Obviously, I’m no expert on this and I’m sharing what I’ve experienced and what I have learned so far. As well as not every single person with this personality type feels all of these things, because I know I don’t fall into every single thing! So, if you want to know more about yourself here are some links to some personality tests you can take to find out what you are:
What is your personality type?